Not So Wholesome Thought Space

King Kenny: Revival?

2011-01-22T10:46:00.000-08:00

Managers are now in a shitehole, are they not?

Football is bloody demanding, with players are getting fat and rich. It's crazy, and managers are they to keep it that way.

Everyone following football now is witnessing the downfall of Liverpool. I never really found them a threat to Arsenal's hopes of anything and I am justified in any way to say that. They meet the young boys and get fucked up by a four-goal haul by Arshavin. I know that's quite some time ago but now with mid-table mediocrity, their legacy is less vivid than it has ever been. Sole dependence on their ferocious captain and their pretty Spaniard has left them exhausted, lost and as wounded as ever. It's not pretty at all.

Until recently, with the return of Dalglish.

Tonight I saw the spark. His return after all these years has boiled a craze among fans. What he did before he left in the early 90's is nothing short of spectacular, but it's a new game now. Within months any manager, great or shite, can get a boot up their arse for not delivering instantaneous results. He may not have started on a very bright note, but the performance against Wolves tonight was a display of a certain revival that's possible. The flair was there, the passing was fluid enough, the initiative was encouraging and the results were delivered. Torres started finding his scoring boots again and it's an inspiration we all need to witness in football.

It's still too early to say though. New managers have come to propel their teams to greatness before; however, they still die off in the long run. Take Juande Ramos for example, or Rafa Benitez, or Avram Grant; all lifting Spurs, Liverpool and Chelsea respectively for a brief moment and then losing steam.

Will King Kenny lose steam?

Still Speeding

2010-12-29T06:09:00.000-08:00

With the release of 'Bring The Light', Beady Eye disgusted Oasis fans to the gut. I thought the tune was quite good though; being in stark contrast to what loads of other fans believed.

It's true what they say; that nothing Liam writes can top the monumental tracks such as Live Forever or Champagne Supernova. But it's just rock n' roll, innit? Oasis had the lyrical depth that can really be felt, sometimes guilty of being extra extra sappy, mellow and introspective like Sunday Morning Call. But hey, where then did Rock N' Roll Star come from?

As much as I can guarantee the sheer brilliance of Noel's solo album, in spite of it not even announced to be recorded yet, I still look forward to what Liam and Co. are up to. He may not have the great ability to pen down mind-shattering lyrics, but he has the raw spirit of rock n' roll. I personally liken his songs to Helter Skelter. There's that vibe, that grit and ruthlessness which does not give a fuck what anyone thinks.

Then the recent release of a second single; Four Letter Word, from their upcoming album 'Different Gear, Still Speeding', set to be released on Feb 28.

This track sealed the deal; I'm going to buy their album. Staying mad fer it.

Movie: The Social Network (2010)

2010-12-16T01:38:00.000-08:00

It's been quite some time since I've penned down any thoughts on any sort of movies. I blame it on excessive porn. Probably it's because I've kind of lost interest due to the overwhelming bore of many movies that I find nothing worthwhile can be mentioned about them.

But whoever owns a facebook account and does not give this movie a try is essentially an idiot. I mean it. Aside a whole lot of jargon being thrown all over the film at an overwhelming pace, the mind will grow to adapt to it as the film progresses.

Unlike many other inventors, Mark Zuckerberg has a fairly interesting story behind the birth of the world's most unnecessarily addictive social networking site. Portrayed in this flick is also Zuckerberg's heightened sense of being an asshole. In fact I liked how much Jesse Eisenberg played so well on him being a prick that I eventually grew to liking him.

Then there's the appearance of Justin Timberlake. Who would have ever thought he could land a role in a movie of this proportion? Let alone act. His acting was plausible if not good. I think it's kind of a gamble allowing him the role of Sean Parker, the charming and fiery founder of Napster.

The rest were other unknown cameos.

As the film kicks off you could already see the degree of Zuckerberg's assholeness. The plot IMO was done in a fairly interesting fashion. The way they switched back and forth between two timelines gave the flick a nice touch, although this has been done many times in films over the past forever. How the relationship between the characters was played out gave plenty of weight to the emotions and accessibility of the characters, especially the shattered relationship between Zuckerberg and his best friend Eduardo Saverin.

I really liked the score used for this. For something with so very little action involved, the music cue for some of the scenes gave it a somewhat daunting feel, that there is always something of a massive scale is about to take place. It essentially gave the scenes a sense of great importance and depth beyond people just sitting and talking to each other.

And they have a Beatles song inside to wrap up the story.

The script is undoubtedly fantastic. If it were the script alone I'm judging the film on, it would get a 10/10. Humor was woven neatly with wit, and added with a good cast of actors playing on them lightened the mood of the movie in spite of all the anger, jealousy and betrayal which was the tone intended by the plot. It can be a brilliant script to me but for those who can't keep up with the excessive firing of technical terms and verbal wit it can be quite a headache. It's not that universally acceptable.

Verdict: 9.4/10

Running Rampage

2010-12-08T05:51:00.000-08:00

It is the tantalizing show of supreme young talent that keeps the title hopes alive. The drive to get the ball forward constantly and bang in as many goals possible. Young and ferocious.

Samir Nasri just went insane in recently crafting and also scoring crucial goals. The prime example being against Fulham where, in spite of the bombardment of goal-scoring opportunities, the goals just don't come. Breaking from their usual attack patterns of neat and slick passes, Nasri went weapons-free and danced his way through solid hard-tackling English defenders to grab a winner.

Not too long ago in the Champions League he tore apart the stalemate caused by Porto's defense by unleashing something similar.

Ready To Start

2010-12-06T01:26:00.000-08:00

The commencement of Sem 2.

Business Computing. Sounds geekish, sounds sophisticated. It's the main sub. It's full of shit.

The timetable is okay, after finding out that it's after all only 2 subs and lots of hours for these subs. Lots of big gaps and all that. Too much free time. Yet short sem determines that I still lack time.

Paradox is paradox.

Our worst enemies: Too much time and too little time. Only uber self-organization, a healthy lifestyle and solid self-discipline allows for ample and comfortable timing to be accomplished. Other that that, it's either finish too early or finish too late.

Sad case is sad.

I wanna get those nice Vans shoes. I wanna get a pair of charcoal-black jeans. I wanna get a throne.

Then petrol prices made another climb. Cigarette prices are rumored to leap into the unreasonable. It's barely affordable now as it is.

Tight budget is tight.

My only comfort in all of these nonsense is the music that keeps all other noises down.

It's my ability to keep calm and carry on. There's also porn, but it's nowhere near music. Porn is my guyism making a statement; the core of my carnal instincts speaking out. But music feeds the nutrients to my soul, keeping the groove and my passions alive.

So don't turn off my music, bitches!

Me and My Soul

2010-11-21T09:36:00.000-08:00

It takes me away.... So far away...

To the depths below my conscious minds, burrowing through to the core of my bare soul. Instilling peace and freedom, enlightening all doubts and cynicism.

Drift and drift and drift.

Boo You, Taylor's!

2010-11-14T00:14:00.000-08:00

I've given enough thought into this...

And my cynicism is justified.

Name me one thing Taylor's has impressed you with. What can it do that other colleges can't do?

One guy said that I'm in his 'dream university', that this institution is his greatest educational aspiration. They've really fed him with a load of shit. Lecturer asks me to name a great experience Taylor's has provided me with.

Seriously?

Why am I rambling? Why am bitching? No actually I'm not, I'm realizing.

My dad goes through all the shit he goes through, only to pay for me having a good company of friends in a glamorous new place. That's it. It is a lot of money; big ass sum of cash.

courageworld.ch

And they don't even let me keep the profits for my efforts and my capital. And they gave me fucking low marks and shit group mates for that too. Well actually I chose that bunch. My bad.

A toast to that. Fuckheads.

Parking entry guards = Bunch of twats. No wonder people cussed your face. Dogs have better courtesy than those tossers.

mistupid.com

And you say students skip your classes. Shows how well your lecturers can capture their interest. Give us reasons not to skip, and we won't. Sheesh.

If you say I'm hard to please, then don't charge us so god damn much. I'll keep my mouth shut, like that gate of yours.

Might as well just turn it into a wall.

Sick

2010-11-10T05:54:00.000-08:00

This sickness is sickening...

I wonder, why does it happen during the finals?

It's making me all sluggish and shit. Killing my vibe, killing my spirit, killing my focus...

I need to study for econs... I need to study for accounts (I actually forgot accounts existed)... most of all, I need to study for math...

That's the sub that's gonna kill me, if anything kills me...

Argh, I can't even keep my shoulders straight...

And, lastly, she's so hot... I don't know why, she seems the most desirable entity at this period of time... so hot, so captivating, so alluring, so unreachable, untouchable, unbearable...

Maybe looking more at her burns up my fever... hot, scorching fever... fuck...

And my goodness, that accent...

Now I can't look at other girls... cause right now they're so... bland...

Can't Help It

2010-10-28T23:02:00.000-07:00

I offend people.

All the worst and most perverse comments flow so naturally, only in campus. Or maybe only with them.

I don't know why.

You ask me to think of horrible sexual innuendos now and I'm lost for ideas. Put me in campus and I don't even need to think. Goddamn.

I don't need to convince these people I'm a nice person or anything like that. There's nothing to prove, especially if it's not true.

But I'm not that horrible. I never knew how capable I was; at being bad.

What a mouth I have. Let's just hope I keep this shit in order during presentation.

I don't want the judges splashing water at my face.

Times Like These

2010-10-19T07:54:00.000-07:00

Assignments; we tend to exaggerate the degree of its weight.

We look bad, or I look back, and find that it's too much of a situational thing. The heat of the closing moments when there's too much to do at the last minute plus the tiredness and lack of focus to execute it (late nights) or the dimming motivation and drive to get the work rhythm going.

It can all be too daunting and nerve wrecking. And looking back I find that it's all for a petty thing that's easy if you just keep your shit together. Perfectionism can also be a bitch sometimes.

It's times like these I'm glad I changed. I'm glad I suppressed the inner bastard of irritating perfectionism that made me the nervous little squealing boy of my former self. I'm glad I found cigs, to keep me from steering and to propel my sluggish mind so that my thoughts are clear.

I fucked up the latest assignment. Supposedly a breeze. Insecurities and agitations build up. I wanted to crack that little twat's bones and slap him around for being profusely and naturally annoying. Presentation was fucked by lack of food and sleep, dehydration and brooding anger. I was fuming with negativity, and it showed, and I fumbled.

Still, assignments keep things real. I do shit, not read them.

It's times like these I'm glad to be in ~~college~~ university.

Arsenal. The way they play, sometimes really boils my blood. I love the team, and that hurts me more when I see them devastated and lose grip on their style and edge. Injuries shaking their solidity, restricting their creative prowess. When was the last time van Persie stayed long enough to contribute before getting injured? Chamakh and Eboue - promote the shameful act of diving. Like Ronaldo, like Nani, it's pitiful.

It's times like these I'm proud of myself, for sticking to my team through this shit. I'm a gooner, cried and rejoiced as one, will always be one.

I have good friends. They didn't ditch me, though I've been quite a pain. I can't get over myself, I'm vulgar and I'm not exactly kind, but they just laugh it off. They're not too much of an exceptional bunch. They don't listen to Oasis or watch the movies and series I do but they value their friends, and that's good enough.

It's times like these I wish I was a better friend to my old friends. But that wouldn't matter much now.

It's times like these I'm elated to be alive.

Arsenal 2 - 1 Birmingham

2010-10-17T06:14:00.000-07:00

Huhu... Chamakh... You dirty little cheat.

I don't care. They were so afraid they let you go past n score.

Wilshere. Exceptional, but idiotic. Bodoh, faham?

Glad United drew. In your face, Van Der Sar.

Don't Let The Sun Go Down

2010-10-17T06:03:00.001-07:00

Stop

2010-10-11T08:06:00.000-07:00

This shit... has got to stop.

I'm not in high school anymore.

Warning letter, my dear friend. You scared the living hell out of me.

I will not skip classes anymore. Do or die, I gotta show up.

Slip Inside the Eye of Your Mind

2010-10-09T14:46:00.000-07:00

SOOOOOOOOO SALLY CAN WAAAIT....

Best.Chorus.Evar!!!!!!

EVAR!!!

...my soooouuul slides away...

...but don't look back in anger...

...I heard you say...

...at least not today...

Tip of The Iceberg

2010-10-08T06:40:00.000-07:00

I didn't expect to be this less social, but I also didn't expect to have this steady group of friends.

I thought, like school, I'd be hopping here and there from group to group. Standard 1 till Form 5, never much in a fixed spot. From Indians to intellects, lonely to church people; there never was a firm ground. Then there's church, but that's never anything. I'm not sticking to that type of bunch anymore, lest there be a reprise of my former miseries.

I'm into a different form of misery.

Cigarettes and alcohol.

I'd just ran out of June, only to find myself getting more. I made the group feel so fucking bad for 'ditching' me in the assignment. Another group assignment done solo, and there's gonna be another one soon. As a form of atonement, a pack would do; a pack from each person.

Why must the prices go up now?

And don't get me mistaken. I'm not mixing with bad people, they're mixing with a bad person. They don't do what I do, don't curse like how I curse (well now they're getting the hang of it) and don't behave like how I do. Every group needs an arse or two, so here I am.

Catch my drift?

And I've gotta get used to the whole solo thing. There's no help from anywhere, I'm on my own. Now that they know my capabilities, I'm gonna be depended on, cause when they realize they can't do the assignment, they'll look my way and know that I don't wanna fail. They know I'll do it, whether they're contributing or not.

Not all of them think that way, some of them.

Noel felt so damn bad. He stayed up the whole time till his eyes were heavy, just to persuade me to let him take over some stuff. He didn't really know what to do, but he had the heart. These are group mates I need. The way he profusely apologized was somewhat relieving and comforting, cause I know that I really wasn't ditched.

Melvin, on the other hand, is a lifesaver.

And this is nothing, cause there's 2nd sem, and all the shit that comes along with it. Double the hours, thicker assignments. It's only 7 weeks, half the usual period.

I'm gonna enjoy this sem as long as I can.

Groove.

2010-10-05T07:12:00.000-07:00

who'd want to be men of the people? when there's people like you...

Friendly Foe

2010-10-02T11:42:00.000-07:00

Clarification: This post may sound like any other of my morbid material, but I'm writing it in a [slightly] happy mood.

__________________________________________________________

Life as it is right now, is fantastic.

Last time, it was too good to be true. A car, a whole freaking apartment, comfortable money, 'status' ~~college~~ university and a scholarship. Tell me that in 2008 - I would have laughed. Tell me that last year - I would have flopped SPM. I'm grateful for all these I never saw coming and I still think it's too good to be true, especially for someone in my position.

But it's here, and aside a good cohesive bunch of lads there's nothing more I could ask for.

Speaking of lads, I'm in quite a mess. They're a good bunch - jolly, diverse, kinda loud and all those nice stuff. They're good, I'm not. Had I realized earlier about the impression I was striking I wouldn't have been such a dickwad. I was open, in contrary to the past, and that was a mistake.

A fucking mistake.

God knows how my wretched mind and heart run, and it's an absolutely idiotic idea to be outspoken and inconsiderately expressive. Without realizing, in a day I committed social suicide. My cup runneth over with honesty and the horrendous image of me were ingrained into people's minds. I don't feel like an arse, I am one - and I let the whole world see it.

And that's all wrapped nicely (with a pink ribbon) in my projected first impression, which is widely agreed to be the way people view me for life. Even the first impression of this URL is negative - it's black. It has cussing and me cursing the entire world (including myself).

Anyway, they're a good bunch of friends. They barely know each other for half a year and already they're celebrating each others' birthdays and forming such cohesive bonds with each other. Willing already to drive so far for each other and hang out so much. Somehow also feels too good to be true.
___________________________________________________

Who's gonna read this shit anyway? I bet you people won't even come this far down a post like this. And I don't understand how you guys can stand reading all my morbid stuff. A better site would be my bro's blog, cause it has advertisers, in spite of all those fucking long posts which I don't understand how you people can stand as well.

Ouch!

2010-09-27T11:18:00.000-07:00

Just got back from futsal, after so long. So very excruciatingly long.

As expected, the engine oil is gone, and I'm as rusty as shit. Bad first touch, bad ball estimation, bad finishing, bad balance, bad stamina (damn cigs), cramps and I overheat a lot.

After 5 mins, I keep panting. Out of breath, substitute. Sub back in the game, and I'm out 15 mins into the game. Feeble, hungry, dehydrated, tired.

But it was good; good that I get to play. Good that I don't rot further. Rather be injured than becoming a slob.

Awesome. Fung, bless you.

Now I'm typing this at 2 a.m. with a killer assignment damn close to its deadline. Got bout 3 to 4 hours of sleep before getting up for class. Body aches, eyes heavy, but I gotta wait for the hair to dry, and the laundry to finish washing.

Another ouch, is Arsenal. Yes, that fucking West Brom game. The 'at least' part is that didn't lose 3 - 0, but redeemed 2 goals. Good, save yourselves some shame, especially Almunia. You're a hero for the penalty save, but you're still an asshole.

Asshole.

Another ouch, is cash. What the fuck is wrong with me? Spend spend spend spend, expensively. I like that its a contrast to what I was last time, a little leech. I know some people despised me for that. But seeing so much money unnecessarily leak away is somewhat painful.

Financial negligence, my good friend.

Missing Out

2010-09-22T18:37:00.000-07:00

The price of not having Astro, and not reading the newspaper, or not going online to check: Missing out.

This season is so full of pulsating matches and all those gut-wrenching moments, like the time Everton dug out from the grave to salvage a draw with United, or the time Rosicky missed that penalty and had Sunderland slap the Gunners in the face.

Or the time Berbatov pulled off a dick move with a hat-trick against Liverpool.

Problem?

And there's the most recent one, most relevant to me, a North London derby that saw Wilshere boast a highly unmatchable youth talent. They slaughtered Spurs by 4 goals.

All I did was read about it.

As a fan, there's nothing worse than to disgrace the art of football by missing out on matches, vital or not. It's the beauty of the game that comes along with that fire and jolt of passion every time your team plays.

There's no point sitting at home and emo-ing about assignments or whatever trivial problems when there's football on weekends, or even weekdays. No futsal can be alright and bearable for months, but no football is unacceptable.

This season Arsenal will have an uphill climb, but they're ready.

Come on yer little Gooners!!

__________________________________________________________

Definitely, Maybe

2010-09-20T11:13:00.000-07:00

As far as I know, there will never be a record better than Definitely, Maybe.

Oasis just blew things off the rooftops.

Monumental. Some things never grow old.

And it's just rock n' roll, of pure simplicity.

Party Pooper

2010-09-18T02:57:00.000-07:00

Barbecue.

I liked the way Kunal made the food. That Mediterranean blood he has, makes good bbq food.

Pity there was no Heineken. That's okay, the rest was plausible.

Drank too much, too fast. Dragged myself around like a dumb fuck.

No cigs and beer for awhile now. Need to slow it down.

At least Noel provided good hospitality.

Oh, that reminds me.

Mega Tune

2010-09-15T05:57:00.000-07:00

Intellect Impotence

2010-09-14T08:29:00.000-07:00

I'm in a state of helplessness now.

Assignment, a supposedly easy one, is really getting on me. Procrastination and all that shit, and now I'm stuck in this predicament. I skipped the entire college day just to encourage some creative flow or mojo within me. But I'm stuck with shit, cause I just got a brain roadblock.

I'm doing all that shit that hits my brain in all places. Now it's night time when it's usually the time I can really focus and get all creative, but I'm really fucked up now. Vision's all blur, migraine, lethargy, attention's really down, and a little edgy (cause time is running out!).

Damn it, I just need that spark. God forbid I'm not able to finish this assignment properly. This is as easy as it can get! Free marks dammit...

It would be hard for me run now, but it would pain me more to stop.

He's On It

2010-09-11T12:14:00.000-07:00

All that animosity, hostility, frustration, tension, rage...

...is gone.

For now let's hope for the long time to come as well...

I said: "I will not go back to Ipoh!". Guess what? I went back... out of pure spontaneity and a reckless youth urge. Something I half regretted.

The atmosphere didn't accept me, asking "What are you doing here? You don't belong here." It felt like I did something outside of the main plot. Damansara was calling me back. So made an early trip back, and so here I am.

In the meantime, I ate sumptuous hometown food, had an uncomfortable sleep, and played futsal. Mmmm..... futsal

No more itch, for now. That helped with the inner bastard wanting to rage ever so much.

And babi Nicolas, come back just when I leave. No futsal with him...

Although I sucked big time in futsal, I had a nice time chilling with Abel, and Jeremy... the other one. That's the other side of the coin. I could only sigh at what I did in the court.

Skips past 1, 2, 3 players! Here he goes, straight at the keeper, again. That happens for like every opportunity. Dribble... Dribble... Dribble... no goal. Whatever lah...

Now, at this very chill moment, I'm on it. Been strung up on music for hours on end. It's been like, what, 6 hours of it now? 6 crazy hours of music, and pointless web surfing. Good music for good high...

...and it goes something like this.

Anger Reprise

2010-09-08T12:58:00.000-07:00

You know sometimes when your life goes off-track. Those times with long long holidays, where, of course those unhygienic times come in. Bad habits, whether eating or sleeping or whatever shit it is.

I don't know about you, but the 7 months of nothingness left me with cave-dwelling habits. Sleeping at fluctuating times, or not at all. Not showering (yeah, it's disgusting, damn right guilty, I know), eating too much at once, too frequently or not at all.

Then with the intervention of older & wiser & more mature adults, usually parents, the lifestyle is forced back to acceptable healthiness by standards of the norm. They give you advice they acquired through experience, through the prudence they attained walking the path of life, wishing only to enlighten you and shape a clean-cut, useful & boring man that carries the family name proudly and perpetuate human life by getting children to raise up to be as boring as themselves. The true dream of any traditional family.

Well, my life here rides on a nice, flexible day-to-day routine that involves discovery of life and the wicked world. In other words I'm growing away from the past to be a young adult, finding things out on my own. There's cool people to meet. Boring people as well. There's self-management, assignments and all that.

Everything flowing nicely, plus there's one entire week to plan and approach assignments and use all my brainpower to generate great ideas to pen down. Plus I could use some of that time to go Langkawi, get some good shit, and have a good time.

Until 'wise & caring adults' came to fuck things up.

I understand no one came to intentionally fuck things up, but still, it's a fuck up.

Seriously, why come when I'm spending most time in the apartment? I know it's not mine and all that, but can't you come when I'm having class? Oh wait, that could be worse. Okay, why not, come only on the weekends when there's not a holiday week.

I wanna go Langkawi for fuck's sake.

And ah, the routine. Yeah that.

I sleep at a certain range of time usually. Then I get up & live life free and unbound. Now that's screwed. Sleeping in the morning (just before the sun rises) cause I gotta be hospitable and layan people. I can't blast speakers. I gotta hide in my room all the time so that I don't have to come out and keep explaining myself to people.

I can't chill around with a beer, gotta be uptight all the time. Talk and behave like a good boy, god I'm such a hypocrite. No 'fuck' for days on end. Keeping that mask of a polite, well-mannered, naive good kid is fucking exhausting, really. The whole span of time there is no 'chill'. Every word, smile and sentence has to be calculated beforehand and deliberated, so that I don't get fucked over like my brother.

After seeing how they constantly belittle him and indirectly mock him and throwing him to the ground for being himself, I learned the only escape is to make them like me, which is, the good boy approach. The humble, unassuming, shy little man.

Speaking of routine again. Cause of you people I can't eat when I want. I gotta oblige you. You just pull me out of the apartment when I haven't showered, brushed my fucking teeth or even washed my goddamn face. Then after food you drag me shopping when I look and smell like shit. You drag me around tired to see people I'm supposed to but don't know and don't want to know. Damn, the itch.

And while on all this, you impose all your self-righteous shit on me. How can anyone be so self-righteous? As human beings, we're evil, live with it. And it's not their fault, they're cool and chill, but stop using your children as a benchmark for ideal living. They're not me, I'm not them.

At the end of it all, I can't voice out or say a single thing. Nothing negative, all sparkling and good. You go "Anything just be honest." but no waaaaay. Again, this is a reflection of what happened to my brother when he's honest: He gets fucked over. I don't wanna get fucked over.

All these constrictions have to have some pros right? Not all cons only. Well, free meals, but that's about all.

Before all this, leading up to these hols, I just got into my zen. My chill level was optimal. My 'fuck' is the happy expression, the light side of the versatile word. I was like "Fuck man, I'm happy". Now I'm "Fuck, I'm pissed". The angst has surfaced, I need to cool it.

Then again, the main point is and will be: You wasted half my precious holidays and completely agitated me. Now that's not very nice.

I don't mean to bitch and complain again. I'll try to make this webpage more friendly next time.

_________________________________

And I'll just leave this here. Cheers.

Go Home

2010-09-03T19:46:00.000-07:00

Everyone is hustling and bustling to get back to their sweet homes. Buses, trains, cars, bikes, plane, whatever. So jolly, everyone is happy going back home to home cooked food. The comfort of the place they grew up in. Or for some, the ol' village, with all the grandfelles prepping unhealthy food to make up for all the times they starved. Poor old people.

"Are you not going back to Ipoh?" someone asks me. Tackling the question with logic would have me packing my bags and rushing back ASAP. Why not go back? The food's good, better than food in any other state (yeah Penang, suck it!) and the air is cleaner. The atmosphere and people are chill. It's a comfort place.

But you want me to go back there? There? That filth of a life I once had, that yes, I was thankful of nonetheless; but no. Not in a long time.

The best answer: "I am home now." I'll take my chances here.

Ipoh has the best white coffee, most forms of awesome hawker food and epic cheapness. And yeah, futsal, something I never had here.

Anyway, nobody would want me back there. They'd prefer I stay here ;)

And I'll just leave this here, amusement's sake.

Taste, Sound

2010-08-31T14:14:00.000-07:00

So hungry, really hungry~

But I just ate. But, hungry....

Woah, tastes good. Why did it never taste this good the last time before?

Ahh, assignment. Why art thou such a bitch? But it don't matter now, I'm not mad at you - or them. Happy now.

Yeah the strawberry fields are calling to me. You know the place where nothing is real? Yeah, should join me sometime. The music there, it's tantalizing - absorbing.

The tunes come to life. The mood clouds your head, the tunes ring so vivid, so pronounced; music that's designed so intricately, yet I can never see it in reality. No, not in that wretched reality.

Step into the shadow with me, and I'll show you what I mean.

Blackburn 1 - 2 Arsenal

2010-08-29T20:34:00.000-07:00

Late post is late, damn late.

Liverpool escape with a one goal win while United thrashed West Ham by 3. It all don't bother me.

All I wanna know is Arsenal.

Walcott showing flair and imposing good threats with his speed, and this time better ball control. A goal for him.

Rovers equalise, scares me. Biting nails.

Arshavin stays alert, snatches a chance. Lead again.

Nervy closing moments. Rovers threaten, starting to ask questions. Gunners remain sturdy.

3 points, that's all that matters.

Weeds

2010-08-28T07:48:00.000-07:00

Little boxes on the hillside

Little boxes made of ticky tacky

Little boxes on the hillside

Little boxes all the same

There's a green one and a pink one

And a blue one and a yellow one

And they're all made out of ticky tacky and they all look just the same

And the people in the houses

All went to the university

Where they were put in boxes and they came out all the same

And there's doctors and lawyers and business executives

And they're all made out of ticky tacky and they all look just the same.

Shit this show is so cash.

Great (if not hot) disillusioned lead, charming cast and over the top suburban scenarios. Humor is cheeky, not often blunt. Story flows and captivates easily, without being guilty of hyper seriousness (sorry Mad Men).

One up for Showtime, one up for me. ;)

Cash Rash

2010-08-27T09:32:00.000-07:00

You stay in a hostel. Furniture is nicely pre-arranged for you. Everything seems so generic, like its not a bachelor place of your own. You can't really have the place unkempt and you're not at absolute liberty to blast up your music.

++++++++++++++++++++++

At least you don't have to worry about living expenses.

Maintenance bill, water and electricity bills. Groceries. Miscellaneous stuff, school books and shit.

Juggling these expenses alongside petrol can be a display of reliability and independence, but it's a damn pain in the arse.

If I make a wrong spending decision, or one less agreeable to my parents, then the money I spent is a loss on my part. Yes, draining allowance money. While some of you can consider allowance as a form of luxury (you spend it more for your wants than needs), money is a sensitive issue. I may see an expenditure as a necessity but if it's a disagreement on my dad's part, he slashes everything off, maybe leaving me with half of the month's allowance gone even before the start of the month.

Then the mixing of personal cash and necessity cash. Some money for everything but yourself, some for your own daily routine spending. If it's both in the same bank account, then it's a tedious task of keeping tabs every single day on whether you overspent on lunch or whether you should eat lunch. If it's in two different accounts, then lots of inter-account transactions have to take place, that is because of the lack of Public Bank ATM's. If not, it's a lot of cash wasted on MEPS.

In theory, it may look very easy to juggle this. Try the actual scenario, counting in all the unforeseen circumstances, especially due to time and petrol constrictions; and it actually turns out to be a tiny little nightmare.

So far it's fun, running from one bank to another constantly. Makes college life all the more worthwhile, with all these little road bumps and headache situations. Surely beats staying boxed up in a little campus day and night, relying on crappy wi-fi, alongside dealing with campus security complications (especially the whole no-smoking thing).

A car, one of the greatest assets so far. I don't care if it's acceleration is shit, you get me from A to B, to C sometimes all the way to Z. So, dearest MyVi :) what would I do without you?

Damansara is actually such a nice place to stay in. In spite of the distance from campus, it's a better investment than living in Sunway. Just imagine all the constant traffic congestion and crappy expensive food in the area. You may have Pyramid, but I got 1 Utama, The Curve and Sunway Giza.

Blessing in disguise, innit?

No One. Just You, Just Me.

2010-08-26T11:50:00.000-07:00

I look up to the likes of Noel Gallagher and John Lennon because I see in them the empowerment I'd like to see in myself.

Why do people try so hard to be normal? "All I wanna do is be normal, live my life, and be a regular person with a regular job and a regular family with regular income and if I'm lucky and hardworking enough I'll be a regular rich person, driving normal rich cars, dying an anonymous."

I hear that shit all the time. People speaking it everyday, people saying that 'that' is life, an ideal one. They speak it in the way they walk, the way they talk, the way they run about daily routines, the way they think and the way they look.

The sad thing is, I speak it too.

I mean don't you people find being normal depressing? You wake up and the only thing you look forward to is lying in bed at the end of the day, experiencing nothing. You don't remember whatever you did soon enough, and through the day you are constricted to the boundaries society sets for you. They say the country is free, and we're to celebrate our imminent 52nd year of independence, of freedom.

Bullshit, you're not free.

If you were free you would be daring all the possibilities. There would be no regret, because you seek more than life offers. It's so much constriction that you don't even know that there is an existent sky beyond your dull office and class walls. When you're given a challenge, you look for the most typical way society deals with it. You don't look for your way of dealing with life, you look for people's way of doing so.

"It's normal, it's accepted." you say.

You look for people to accompany you in your failures, like birds of the same feathers, flocking together, dying together. When you die, you're on your own. I'd rather be on my own the whole way.

I wonder why, in a world full of billions of people, only some want to fly. Only some want something more.

If only I could be as simple-minded as you people. I won't have to suffer thinking the way I do.

My Soul Slides Away

2010-08-24T17:08:00.000-07:00

How, on earth, on such a time as this, where there is scarcity in really meaningful rock n' roll music, can I get tired of this? This same thing, on and on again. Sure, I listen to some different bands as well. But this is an entirely different thing altogether.

It's not too far-fetched to say that it has changed me entirely. This band has gone beyond cool superficial rythms and tunes. It's personal.

So, Sally can wait... best chorus of all...

If only I was there... in Rio. That bloody guitar, that fucking genius. That stupid lead singer. He's way past his expiry date.

Class act. Noel, is a god.

Arsenal 6 - 0 Blackpool

2010-08-21T09:50:00.000-07:00

The passing slick, the pace blistering, the footwork subliminal, coupled with an aggression that comes from the thirst for victory. The team displaying a game of champagne football that has been cultured through the years by The Professor's meticulous and calculated planning. His players showing a cohesive style that is just pure fucking great eye candy.

The goals pour in from a usually unlikely source. The architecture behind the set up for each goal was marvelous, and was antonymous with what was shown against Liverpool. The constant exchange of roles between Chamakh and Walcott made for more versatility in attack, allowing a more fluid build up which, although not made full use of due to various finishing blunders, was cool.

Liverpool scared me senseless, almost out of my balls.

But who the fuck are Blackpool?

Tipped the Balance, Again

2010-08-19T15:01:00.000-07:00

I remember not too long ago, long days, a little stint at a small job. Those are some empty pages stretching for a span of 7 months after the epilogue of school days.

Now it's a new book, a prologue. Not too impressed, though I'm more impressed than I expected myself to be. Fucking college. They're good at slight exaggerations, especially on the whole high-class campus thing. The steps are tedious if not tiring, the lifts too slow and often packed (lazy arses), the flooring still looks like a near-finished construction site.

Well actually all these complaints are cosmetic and superficial. The classes are cold (mostly, I think) but not that comfy. Just like that dreaded 24/7 study room. Fuckin' frostbite. The good thing is the whole 'print your own notes' and 'it's okay if you don't buy the textbooks'. I've had enough unnecessary texbook carrying in school, God forbid I do it again.

So the new routines are set again. I tipped the lifestyle balance and it's no longer that awesome, unhealthy, filthy, cool, cozy, disgusting basement-dwelling lifestyle. It's college life, the life mainstream media have convinced us to believe is full of beer-drinking, bachelor living and weird everyday routines. I don't believe it's true at first, as 'twas initially thought of as extremely filled with books, whiz kids and intellectual banter.

Now even the worries are different. Assignments (meh), money, fuel, sleep, paying bills, chicks... yeah all that shit.

And futsal, gawd futsal!!! The fuck, man! this is the most extreme ball-slamming drought ever. No bloody one plays futsal, well at least no one I can come across. And so little footie fans, god are you people even Malaysian? I don't care if you support Man Utd, at least support something, or at least watch football.

Innit sad, you people? Just sad...

I need something to look forward to, not seeing the future as skipping hopeless lectures to go Asia Cafe or just hang around. Not foreseeing days in the perpetually packed library, student life centre or light-headed classes.

I need excitement, I need MORE!!!

Taylorian

2010-08-15T07:00:00.000-07:00

Behold the new Taylor's Lakeside Campus, with it's architectural innovation and intricate designs lying under a simplistic yet breathtaking appearance.

This esteemed institution is and will be renowned for sketching bright futures for it's undergraduates having now won several awards including 2009's most popular university college in Malaysia.

Being rated Tier 5 (5 Star) by the Ministry of Education, Taylor's University College will cater you with comprehensive knowledge that will equip you to take on the world aside providing you with an exhilarating college life experience through many of its activities and world-class facilities.

That's the appeal that was slapped to my face when I first came in. So professional, so warm, so high-class, so cool.

Fuck, we all know that's a bunch of cow shit, innit? Sure smells like it here...

Being a Taylorian isn't any much greater than being a KDU or a Sunway student. It's all the same.

Nothing great, just some big ass rich-kid douche appeal that comes with the title Taylorian. We have our fair share of nerds here as well.

The campus is damn tiny. They should use the fucken' lake's space to make more parking lots instead of having it take up all the needed space. The lake really doesn't have too much of an appeal. It's just lying there, making it harder to get from one point to another.

The good thing is, they're at least making syopz (yea, syopz) with all it's Starbucks and expensive shit so that they can collect rent and eat more of our money.

Fucken' money eaters. It's why I'm here, so that your institution can teach me how to eat people's money like you do.

Business, man... business...

It's Awfully Dark in Here

2010-07-20T10:35:00.000-07:00

Our state of mind can be a bitch. A real mean bitch.

It's been quite much gloomy when it comes to me. All the non-talking. All the tension. All the morbid expressions. I know, it chases people away. I've chased people away. And for some of you, I still want to chase you away.

But then, I lose out on meeting (or keeping) some of the greatest people I can ever meet.

At one point it was so easy to 'be yourself'. Self expression came naturally. Sure, I was stupid and was hormonal. The biggest (or least) worries are incessant pimples and meaningless exams. The biggest uncertainty was whether I could make it to church on time. I had the poorest sense of fashion and wore excessively baggy clothes, ate plain cold rice with curry, dehydrated most of everyday; which was cool, cause I didn't care. As long as I could fulfill my masochistic desire to be unreasonably stingy.

And when you ask, should you listen to your friends, or your parents the most obvious answer would be to listen to your parents, right?

I listened to my parents, which is in a way good. But I was wrong to do so.

My parents are wise and experienced and all that. Prudent with finances, they've also had the raw experience dealing with hard people, scumbags, manipulators and traitors. I believed too much in their words.

They had one problem. They were miserable people, mostly my dad. I listened closely to all they had to say. "The world is misery. Outsiders will only aim to cause you misery for their own gain. When people are nice to you always be wary that they're looking to exploit and backstab you. If your friend is not Chinese, he/she is highly likely to practice inferior values to yours and can't be trusted. Majority of society is unscrupulous. The principles and values you develop on your own is useless due to your inexperience and the only applicable values in life are those taught by us."

While my friends were telling me to let that high guard down and appreciate the moments of school that I have, I was too busy brooding about how unfairly life was treating me, which wasn't the case. Just a benign comment on me and I shun people for judging me. Yes, I was a misery kid.

Happy was not when I learned something new in life or had a new experience. Happy was when everybody left me the fuck alone. The new things I learn from them goes something like: "There's a trait people have that you don't, so that increases your inferiority by 20% from now on.", "There's a trait you have that people don't, but it means nothing so you are still inferior." or "There's something practical you're not good at, so that means the rest of your adulthood will be destroyed by this flaw.".

All these things you need not say. You just reflect these through your actions. But you said anyway.

So I don't talk, I don't wanna know. Cause knowing is bad, cause the world is bad.

And I just realized that my parents were merely human and in the midst of facing utter despair they unwisely chose to unload their burdens, on me. They transferred their misery and hopelessness and problems as well. At that early adolescent age, my jar was still empty. And I was fucking stupid to load my jar with all your problems. At that point steering quite much more to peer pressure would have carved a better me now.

And as for now, you still want to make your problems mine and quite much force it upon me to get involved in your problems. And your excuse is that you get involved in my problems (forcibly trying to). Firstly, I do not want you anywhere near my problems and force me to talk to you about them. And stop trying to make me think I'm too inferior to solve my own problems (you just love to indicate how useless I am). And every disagreement that happens to you it's like a fucking mutiny and rebellion. Talking must be like a formal parliamentary debate or national forum or even or a criminal trial in court. You pick on every inch of every word on every sentence I make as if you're prosecuting me for murder.

Really, fuck you.

In case anyone is wondering, it's frustration. I give every ounce of respect I possibly can, through controlling these frustrations, talking with diplomacy though being more resolute and assertive of what I want. And I'm on the brink of resentment. Don't push it.

And am I the only one in this place that believes in being at peace and joy. I'm pursuing being a better person by changing this twisted state of mind. And by doing so I need to be away from depressing people. Guess what? I'm surrounded by worry-wads and depressing people. Every fucking detail in life to you people is about distress, constant fretting and panic.

Guess what? You'll never make it past your distress.

I'm trying to learn here, I'm changing and I believe in things like smiling, learning experiences, appreciating my youth and striving while getting my ass-kicked. If you're all about perfection, being filthy rich and vulgarly luxurious, you're on your own.

I have years to come and I do not intend to be a depressing and stress-inducing parent whether it's in the near of far future. If not I'd better not be a parent.

I intend to live.

It's About Time

2010-07-13T10:28:00.000-07:00

That's right people, it's about time.

It's time that things change and I start something new.

Things and time is shifting. One by one, from my clothes to my Oasis poster, to my computer to my priorities, tare all packaged to be delivered to the next destination: college life.

I get different insights into college life while I've been biding my time in the snug of a comfortably messy room. They say it would be a breeze and that there's nothing much to the life there.

Some disagree, saying I'll suffer brain cramps and increasingly mounting tension stacked with exasperating amounts of work and assignments (courtesy of facebook, yeah you bunch of twats).

Some tell me it's near impossible to mingle due to my low financial and social standings, while some suggest otherwise.

Some just say be yourself. That's the greatest virtue.

Whatever it is, it's about time we live differently, behave differently, approach differently and in my case, tread differently. We're not kids anymore, not hormonally charged teens either.

After a certain age every man is responsible for his face. ~Albert Camus~

If you still need your parents permission to make choices, you need to grow a pair. If you can't handle basic life managing, you better stay at home.

It's about time we grew up. Period.

The Spanish Inquisition

2010-07-11T16:15:00.000-07:00

The Spanish team have stamped their mark on football history, now being reigning European Champions and newly crowned World Champions.

It is a fair result.

In spite of all the Dutch protests on how unfair they have been treated, they are in no way comparable to the immense force that is Del Bosque's squad. Personally I think that the Dutch deserve to lose because of their approach to the game. They rely solely on the prowess of Arjen Robben to give them all the magic they need in attack. In midfield their dependence lies in Wesley Sneijder who alone cannot even slightly rattle the best midfield in the world.

Spain were in all ways contrast to that. Ever since the classic Netherlands squad in the 70's invented "total football", the only team since then to be able to utilize powerfully the capabilities of that beautiful style of play is Spain. That brand of football allows for so much creativity and smooth flowing attack accompanied by tight defense as well as astounding amounts of ball possession.

Throughout the course of this final match in the Soccer City Stadium (why 'soccer'? It's 'football'), it is obvious to every spectator as to the baffling number of tackles and fouls. As seen in the first half, both teams wanting desperately to have an early lead resulted in numerous physical clashes leading referee Howard Webb to frequently flash out yellow cards. By the end of the match almost the entire Dutch squad, with the exception of Dirk Kuyt, was booked and having also defender John Heitinga sent off.

It was nonsensical.

The first 45 minutes didn't see much attempts on goal due to the borderline violent tackles made by each the defense from each side both desiring to prove their worth. The tension in the game between both sides could have been cut with a knife and soon enough into the second period tempers started to flare, with the rage coming heavily from the Oranje.

The second half also saw the game opening up with both sides exploring more and more into attack. The tangerine squad was burning with determination but to no avail as they ultimately could not match the scintillating display shown by the Spanish side. Since the players aren't given much time and space on the ball without being brutally battered down by the opposition, Spain could not play their trademark 'death by a million passes' but still put on quite a remarkable performance by being ruthlessly physical yet creative in all departments.

And everyone should hail Andres Iniesta, not only because he stabbed the Dutch with a killer volley, but because he was the creative maestro in Spain's attack. Xavi has had his spotlight in the European tournament and now Iniesta instead is also glowing with brilliance. His spot-on passes alongside astonishing skills in ball control made him almost untouchable in midfield. Added to that is his nimble running at defenders to consistently wreak havoc in the Netherlands half. He masterminded the connection between Spain's midfield dominance and their attacking opportunities in superb fashion.

The second half also introduced Fabregas and Navas into the game, both of whom added fire to Spain. Fabregas helped maintain ball possession and made a handful of moves to unhinge the Dutch defense, with one notable run in the midst of a congested area outside the penalty box to see his attempt on goal flash wide. Navas created some spark by making frequent darting runs on the right flank to initiate attacking chances on goal.

The Dutch could only go chasing and clearing the ball, hoping for Robben to catch the Spaniards on counter-attacks.

Speaking of counter-attacking, Holland have been amazing in their run to the final with breaking from defense to catch their opponents off-guard and shredding them apart. In the case of Spain, Puyol and Capdevilla proved too overwhelming for Robben as they made his life hell whether it was blocking the ball or chasing to redeem the ball. Even being provided two good one-on-one chances on goal, with Spain's colossal defense weighing down on him, he caved in. He couldn't take it, and it showed.

Holland weren't too bad themselves, although I didn't favor them in this match (I favor the sides with better, more positive football). In the attacking department the weight was on Robben's shoulder and it proved too much for him. Van Persie was horrendous as a striker and so was Kuyt. Wesley Sneijder was plausible but failed to do too much. Van Bommel on the other hand did put on quite a notable display by managing to maintain a stable midfield that lit up some attack. De Jong playing in front of the center backs formed solidity that added pressure and stifled Spain's strong area of creativity. Overall I believed that they played so much better defensively than attacking.

The Holland captain van Bronckhorst did his duty very well. He alongside Mathijsen and Heitinga maintained enough pressure to ensure that even if David Villa has a chance to score, the pressure leans on him to make more mistakes.

Extra time was when everything got the most exciting. Although Spain slowly prevailed with marvelous ball retention and played cohesively like how they famously do, the Dutch weren't going to die down. They fought tooth and nail utilizing whatever was left in their attacking artillery to clutch on to their hopes. They managed to carve out some chances on goal but failed to convert. Infuriated, their faces were all red by the accumulated frustrations.

Well done, Spain.

Write The Future

2010-07-03T09:49:00.000-07:00

Let's take a look at that ad all compiled of brilliant footballers. What can you find?

A fiery Didier Drogba putting to excellent use his deadly skills and speed to dribble past a defensive force and to put it coolly past the keeper.

Fabio Cannavaro showing brilliant speed to save to prevent what seemed as an inevitable goal.

Wayne Rooney showing his brilliance on the pitch to field a long pass and redeeming back the ball with a ferocious tackle. Frank Ribery and Cesc Fabregas also making an appearance.

Ronaldinho tantalizing the entire world with his blinding footwork after receiving an exquisite long pass.

Cristiano Ronaldo making use of his incredible pace to surge through the midfield, and closing everything off with a trademark monumental free kick.

Let's now put all of that to perspective for a bit and take a look at the real facts:
1. Didier Drogba didn't even make past the group stages.
2. Fabio Cannavaro made all the silly blunders that cost his team defeat.
3. Rooney didn't even score a single goal in the competition.
4. Ribery finished last in his group.
5. Ronaldinho? Did anyone even see him?
6. Ronaldo's free kick was probably earned with a dive.
7. Fabregas seemed helpless, but Spain are in the semi-finals

Maybe they should put Podolski or Robben or Villa in the ad if it was for the World Cup. Since the ad was released in anticipation of the World Cup, I'd assume it's for the World Cup.

Oh wait, those guys aren't sponsored by Nike.

+++++++++++++++++

Now the big news. Germany tearing apart Argentina by 4 goals and a clean sheet.

With a young squad Germany seem favorites to win the entire competition after this triumph. Throughout the match the Germans went blitzkrieg on Maradona's side comprising mainly of the world's no.1 player Lionel Messi, who other than the horrendous far attempts on goal, was anonymous. The European side seemed powered by a burning desire to win and it showed through their physicality and venomous pace.

Podolski should be given a medal with such an outstanding performance this year. His assist on goal was what broke the Argentinian stronghold, and the Germans came in gushing with relentless attacking. Schweinsteiger's cutting in from the left flank all the way to the byline for his assist on the 3rd goal was insane and a beauty to watch. He too should be given a medal.

The clash with Spain will hopefully be an explosive one.

The Great Upset

2010-07-02T09:31:00.000-07:00

That's right, Holland just threw Brazil aside.

It's not an upset, it's called the thrill of the sport.

As a neutral, I think it's only fair this time around that all the regular names in the previous finals don't show up for another final. It's good that France and Italy crashed out early, it's better that Brazil joins the club.

I mean how boring is it that the same names come up again and again to contend for the title? Germany had so many finals, so has Brazil. Let Netherlands or Argentina get that shot after a long wait. Maybe even Ghana or Paraguay if they could create magic in these closing stages.

Holland did damn well in this match. They were humiliated the last time round in the European Cup tournament by Russia, but they did their nation proud when they stood well, went at it aggressively and won it this time. And in the match Robben, Kuyt and Sneijder were freakin' insane.

Brilliant, just brilliant.

Moving On

2010-07-02T04:47:00.000-07:00

If my past self were to see me now, he'd slap me in the face.

Then I'd slap him back in the face.

What was I before all this? I refused to have my hair short, I found some weird profound calming distraction when I'm taking my sweet time ironing my laundry (freaky, feminine, I know) and I walked alot. I always walked as if I was in a rush, which was mostly the case. Living independent was fulfilling, as I found my way around things and settled alot of my life alone, not financially though. Plus I was a leeching, stinging bastard.

Now I'm a carefree, messy little bachelor frog that finds frustration in taking care of my laundry and I haven't walked anywhere in ages. Now there's something in my life called a driver's license and a car and I intend to maximize the utilization of my blessings. Added to that is a nice virtual hub, my PC. Nobody can finish surfing the net, so you won't find me much of anywhere else.

Plus I don't 'forget' to bring my wallet out anymore. So, plus point for not being a stinging bastard anymore.

A lot of past animosity is gone. All the apprehended angst that translated to alot of alienating and emo-ing, no more.

With all there is now there's not much to say about anything. Other than the significance of what was last time, there's really nothing much now. I do watch quite an amount of movies if I have the mood and other than that, there's ~~lots of~~ too much music in my media player.

Room's a mess, never been filthier. World Cup's only starting to get interesting. Just finding out more and more how much classic rock kicks ass, especially Justin Bieber's. Futsal in Ipoh is coming to an end, but boy I need my fix.

Some may find this expected, but my intervals between showers are getting further apart. I mean why shower when all I'm gonna do next is park my ass right in front of the PC reading crap online and watching movies all day, know what I mean? Well at least my laundry doesn't pile up so much now.

But all that's gotta suck, right? Well it's coming to end soon.

The place in KL is close to done, and one or two more trips down there and I'll transition into life again. Just gotta know the roads, discuss some stuff and we're done. One thing's for sure, I'm not behaving like how I was in school.

I feel like an idiot in school. Always worried about shit. Christian? That's nonsense, cause I was selfish and behaved nothing like how I should. All the lies and all that shit, that's dirt I gotta get rid of. I don't know when they say only Jews act like that, but I was one for wanting to take advantage of people and reduce as much as I could on personal loss, on other people's expense.

It's not self-hate and all that, cause I'm speaking out of pure honesty. For those of you who knew me, I ask you one question: Was there ever a time I blessed you as any Christian should? Don't talk blessing using words, talk times when money was in the picture, when time and attention was in the picture. Did I do what role models were supposed to do?

The answer's obvious.

Thinking about it, I actually do miss school although I don't. Do I miss coming late to tuition, spending tuition money on personal expenses, dragging out of bed in the cold morning, doing mindless exercises when the exam was not worth the effort? No.

If only I didn't behave the way I did with my friends. That's one regret. If I didn't treat them the way I did, I'd be so much better off. Where were all my efforts and energy focused? Petty worrying and a self-obsession. What were all my friends to me? Background.

I'm a better person now, at least I think so.

Shaun just left for Australia, but I don't regret that. I corrected those dickhead mistakes and I don't regret the effort invested in that friendship. Plus point for that.

Guess I'm not so much of an idiot anymore.

Movie: Brooklyn's Finest (2010)

2010-06-29T05:12:00.000-07:00

This is almost everything Street Kings was striving to be. They had a numerous cast of familiar names that are capable of producing a fine work of a film. But, that movie lost it's hard punch, went soft and relented to end up as another police-conspiracy cliche.

Brooklyn's Finest, at first glance, has all the gritty, sulking, police movie cliche material written all over it and that the only thing which could propel it was top-notch acting alongside brilliant cinematography.

That it did and churned up a very entertaining 2 hours.

Let's take a look at the what frames together this film. Brooklyn is at the height of rampant drug-dealing (I'm not sure whether I could say 'as usual') and with the allegations of police brutality being enforced to deal with even the pettiest crimes, a tension tightens in the air of the city. This movie centralizes around 3 cops in the city that have their own shit to deal with. And as the story progresses each of their stories are played out and each have a certain major level of significance without intertwining with each other.

Tango (Don Cheadle) is undercover in one of the gangs that are going about doing heavy drug trafficking and is at the brink of losing control as he gets involved deeper and deeper with the gang and wants out. Plus he gets torn apart between his loyalty to Caz (Wesley Snipes), the head of the gang and his job where they require him to bust Caz whom has previously saved his life and considers a brother.

Not too far from that story is Sal (Ethan Hawke), who struggles to keep his bearings straight as he is in dire need of money to support his enlarging family. Being an extremely devout family man, he will do just about anything to keep his family afloat and has lost all sense of morality as his conscience lies solely on the money he needs for them. Thus he does whatever it takes to obtain any drug money that he busts in his operations.

The third part is Eddie (Richard Gere) who has nothing to live for in his life and is at the brink of retirement. He crawls on living day by day with no care or regard for anything. This part is probably the most boring part of the three pieces in the plot.

When it comes to the manner the pieces were fit in each of the scenes, it was nothing short of brilliant. There are those other morbid cop films that thrive on one particular story that can sometimes wind up with those dragging scenes to fill up the screentime but with three parts to fill in, this movie has sort of avoided that path. Every scene was relevant to the build up of each story and it doesn't tangle or mess up half way through. Though not as compelling with the eventual interweaving stories like the award-winning Crash, this flick holds its own pretty well.

I like how the stories escalate alongside each other as the plot flows. The visual atmosphere of the cruel and dark side of the city is immersive when added with a great sound the further heighten the tension and build up to a peak. The characters being played by a good set of leads do the show a great deal in maintaining the gritty feel. I especially liked Ethan Hawke's performance as a jaded and desperate man who's been estranged to any self-worth other than the wholesome well-being of his family. He looks almost like a real life junkie.

In spite of all that I feel that the movie can be a little depressing and too morbid. Having that dark insidious things within the characters that defines their actions and moral decisions are cool, but it can be quite unhealthily infectious. I did also feel that Richard Gere was just somehow passing time in this movie. Maybe it's the writers' faults, cause although his character did have a great deal to do with the plot, it was a little dull.

The ending wasn't really so much of a good way to end it but considering the way it was headed, it was probably one of the better choices to close the curtains. Serious, thinking and reasoning type of people who want to draw themselves to that dark world would greatly appreciate this fine work.

Nutshell: Gloomy with a nice touch of film work, Brooklyn's Finest is not epic and memorable but can never be considered lacklustre because of its good performances and story direction.

Verdict: 8.6/10

Movie: Duplicity (2009)

2010-06-20T06:41:00.000-07:00

For the many of us who have watched George Clooney's Ocean franchise or The Italian Job would have a rough idea how a heist movie would go. There's the team, and the respective specialists in the team. So they would ingeniously plot out cool ways to pull off a robbery and somehow it would make for a fairly entertaining 2 hours or so.

Now Duplicity, you have two very experienced and renowned actors taking the spotlight to provide a movie that involves all the wit and smart-ass plans that can often delight audiences. Clive Owen and Julia Roberts pair up as ex-CIA and ex-MI6 agents to go on a corporate espionage, or rather, some sort of undercover thieves acting as spies for one company to tear down another. The movie does explain that it is often not enough to just be the leading innovator in marketing and selling your product, so you gotta steal and deceive to have the competitive edge over your rivals in the industry.

That being said, it's somehow a game of scheming against one another pulling off tricks so that your competitor hits the ground while you prosper. For that reason they hire spies to do the dirty work by being moles in the other company to steal their ideas and innovations. What they do not know is that the spies they are hiring are planning to steal from them what they are trying to steal from their rivals.

That, or what I saw from the trailer, was what drew me to the show in the first place. Having crafted a very interesting scenario and having two brilliant lead actors, it would be a flick worth watching. But having such a brainy script with all the mystery as to what goes on can be very confusing. For the first 15 minutes to half an hour I really couldn't catch who was who and I needed time to get everything straight and sorted out to actually understand the entire situation fully. So for casual viewers who just want a no-brainer source of 2-hour entertainment, don't bother.

The chemistry between the lead characters is quite pleasing because we don't really get to see much of such partnerships in movies nowadays. The friction between the characters can be fairly nice to watch as these conflicts add a little spice to the scenes and all the elaborate plans that are going on. The side characters Tom Wilkinson and Paul Giamatti also did quite impressively in their roles as the two heads of the conflicting companies. I don't quite much know about Julia Roberts, but Clive Owen's charm in this flick has the same attention-drawing effect in has in his other works like Inside Man and Sin City. There's that rugged serious vibe he puts on that's quite typical of him yet defines his acting style.

Honestly I'm not such a big fan of movies with extensive plan-and-coordinate plots but it does a good job impressing. The crazy amounts of plot twist and turns beside having scenes bouncing here and there can sometimes drill a headache into me. The ending was kinda one of the expected options for a twist although not too expected so it was okay. What really did well was the fun in watching these characters play everything out.

Nutshell: Smart, witty, fun characters with a nauseating crazy maze of a story.

Verdict: 7.7/10

Movie: Hot Tub Time Machine (2010)

2010-06-17T11:49:00.000-07:00

Okay I felt that, despite the really quirky name, I would give this movie a try. Aside the fact that I have lots of free time to burn, I also have some faith in the acting talent which is John Cusack. He did some pretty cool stuff, like 1408 and 2012 (haha, lol numbers) and the offbeat Martian Child, which was not too bad actually.

But this; this is appalling.

Rotten Tomatoes deemed this movie acceptable and plausible despite it's flaws. Now I beg to differ. I can remember some faces, but the only name I remember is Cusack. That didn't salvage the movie from going down the drain.

This flick is supposed to be a comedy with a rather cool concept, one that's not so original but we haven't seen that kinda thing in a long time. Time travel. You go back in time, you freak and your mission is to figure out how to get back to the future. The basic idea can make for a hilarious affair, and some people can find it funny. I had some giggles and laughs here and there, but the overall output is utterly bemusing.

So you got the four main characters (for some reason it's always four) which go on some vacation from their lives which are in tatters and try to unwind and live up the old times when they used to be extremely close friends. Well only three are close friends cause there's one odd one out that's somehow related. They get into this epic hot tub which sucks them back to 1986, when some of them were having the times of their lives. So begins their journey.

Now the thing here is that the movie was headed in the comedic direction of crude, lewd and disgusting (in a funny way). Yes, like American Pie, it does have vomiting and tits. Also like American Pie, fuck flies everywhere. There were one or two scenes that were 'eew'-worthy and a rare instance or two where it gets a nice giggle and lol for how crude it can get, but the characters could use some charisma lessons. They just weren't that appealing.

The little chaos happening in the premise of the movie is messy and it suffers from being obnoxious. It starts okay, but when it gets tangled up in it's own mess, the charm in the characters are tragically inadequate to bring humor into the picture. It tried to kick into life with little spasms of humor but ends up ugly and when you get caught being sleazy and vulgar without being funny, you're in deep shit.

This movie can serve as an example as to what were to happen to The Hangover if it didn't have stellar performances, electrifying character chemistry and weirded out charming characters alongside a damn cool looking baby with shades. That's one of the reasons why American Pie died out after the third movie, you get old with some of the same shit you try to pull off again and again.

Now it wasn't 2 hours of my life I would never get back, not as bad as that. It gets away with not having such a lame ending, which I judge movies alot on. The way it closed was kinda cool, and got me some nice gags (pun NOT intended) but there's only so much you can do.

Nutshell: Sloppy and borderline raunchy though in some manners acceptable.

Verdict: 4.1/10

FIFA World Cup 2010

2010-06-17T03:36:00.000-07:00

For the duration of Euro 2008, I rooted for the deadly force of Holland, who were miserably crushed by Guus Hiddink's transformed Russia. How demoralizing such an affair was.

So how about being a neutral? Any side wins or gets humiliated, I'm still happy as long as I can catch some brilliant football. With awesome thrills and spills, there'd be no denying that I would definitely enjoy myself by being soaked in the spirit of the ~~unifying~~ competitive sport.

I'm not enjoying much of it so far.

How can such a prestigious event be ruined by boring results of countless draws, annoying vuvuzela rubbish playing all over the stadiums along with mocking of the game by a compulsive, spontaneous and random ball movement? Referees add good drama to all of it by being trigger happy with cards, having already a couple of players sent to the tunnel in their first matches. And I don't even see any headbutting going on yet.

that's right you annoying bastards

And is there a thing with girls catching the game fever also? Either they finally understand the life-inducing adrenaline gush accompanied by the joy and excitement in football or; it's all the 'hot' guys on the pitch. Any way it is, this is a good cultivation to have. I had thought that the post-Beckham era would have girls not want to watch anymore, adding the fact that more African players are gaining spotlight and prominence.

The talent is also not bad. There is a bright, new and fresh young Germany squad that kicked off the campaign in style.

There's the best player in the world, Lionel Messi, firing things off in a rampage by taking every possible chance there is in front of goal but unfortunately denied constantly by Nigeria's keeper Enyema. Robert Green has to start taking some lessons now.

England, as always, have one of the best compilation of players on the pitch but as always, displayed performances of inevitable failure.

The small teams don't seem so small this time. The defensive organisation of many teams are now very strong and disciplined. Even the fiery Barcelona-equivalent squad Spain couldn't break down the Swiss wall in spite of the astounding amount of ball possession they had. All in all, the defenses have been rock solid and the attacking flair lacking which makes for all the really boring results.

Safe to say, I'm not impressed. Until goals start pouring in, time is best passed doing other things.

The A-Team

2010-06-12T06:46:00.000-07:00

If you have a problem. If no one else can help. And if you can find them, maybe you can hire... The A-Team.

The cinemas just went boom. How it's not easy to get a remake that's full of fun that's just able to laugh at itself and go all no-holds-barred kickass on the silver screens.

In the midst of all the movies people are trying to catch your emotions with, or are trying to make their mark as long remembered classics of any sort, this just fucks all of it and just have fun with tossing around puns and jokes the whole way without giving much of a shit.

At the end of it all the explosions and violence seems rather plausible due to the fact that a lot of us as audiences are kept jovial by how cool those intricate and hyperbolic plans get played out. Blown out of proportion, intense, lighthearted, and nonsensically badass. The intensity is much like Transformers at some points, but it can't easily be discarded as just lots of noise and damage cause the plans made for all the ridiculous shit are as awesome as hell.

I love it when a plan comes together.

The character chemistry in this one is just hard to overlook. Like the original series, these characters are just so lovable and are charismatic in their own ways. You can get some nice laughs and giggles out of them.

So far the best action movie I've seen this year, not sure any other action movie coming up can top this intelligent yet mindless feast of testosterone pumped, adrenaline filled, deafening experience. Many will find it affable despite it's loud roar, many will just find it detestable. Either way, I loved it.

Movie: The Crazies (2010)

2010-06-10T04:03:00.000-07:00

Is it often nowadays that you get a horror film that actually in it's core a scary show?

You don't.

A lot of modern day horror movies rely on the tools of torture and all over-the-top gore fest to eek out the audiences or to please some of the more naturally sadistic people. You get a bunch of youths in a scary looking place and let the bad guys catch them, strap them up and torture them silly. The blood flies everywhere and the audiences cringe in disgust as the tortured plead and scream and cry and die.

Now many categorize that as horror and that is pathetic.

If you ask me to define horror I would say it relies heavily on the sense of creepiness alongside good suspense. Horror makes you fear the unknown and will always have you guessing what the outcome is going to be. It makes you jump as it jolts you after toying with your mind through it's unnerving suspense. It doesn't always have to give you all the signs that something bad is going to happen before it happens.

Well The Crazies isn't that all much scary where it gives you nightmares of any sort. What I can say is that it's classic George A. Romero horror. Sure it's in many senses chicken shit compared to what Asian horror movies can do to you. But by looking at the fact that it's not a ghost flick and the basis of it are zombie-like people, the movie justifies itself.

Okay so the idea of this film is very simple. Anyway it's a remake so there's nothing really new. Government does something naughty stuff at the expense of the people. Something goes wrong, things get out of control, everything goes wrong, people all start dying, a group of survivors go rogue and try to escape Left 4 Dead style and such is the entire plot.

Now what makes the movie good? Not the actors, not the story or plot, not the script. It's the screenplay and cinematography. The way the scenes are done are quite engaging and even in the face of the simplest dangers, like when someone is hunting you down with a knife, the old classic feel of horror is there. Many other 'horror' shows fail in this fundamental element and end up being some cheesy slasher flick.

The plot flow is so reminiscent of 28 Days and 28 Weeks Later. The dreadful atmosphere in an desolate yet dangerous environment with a bunch of seemingly helpless characters in the face of a large scale catastrophe that far outweighs the fact that they have weapons just reminds me too much of the 28 franchise.

And the one cool thing is they capitalized on that factor very well in spite of it not being so original. What mainstream horror movie nowadays can capture the pre-apocalyptic sense of dreadful hopelessness? This movie did itself good by at least managing to maintain nicely that feeling if not taking it up a notch.

However captivating and however much it can keep you on the edge of your seat, this flick can't escape the pointless dialog in some of it's scenes and how it can sometimes be a little cliche here and there. It's inevitable for a remake and a horror film and so it's not so much of a thumbs down.

Nutshell: Compelling with somewhat gripping thrills and suspense, it's a classic horror film, one worth watching in these days of crappy material.

Verdict: 8.2/10

Movie: Remember Me (2010)

2010-06-08T14:25:00.000-07:00

Okay the rave of this show (or if there is much publicity of it) is the fact that Robert Pattinson is the main man and doesn't have to share his spotlight with an emo chick.

And like I said before, I would only wanna watch a particular show if I have a feeling that I would enjoy it. No it's not because I wanna judge whether that guy so many guys hate can really act and there are some exceptions to those particular shows that I would wanna watch.

Note: To make things clear, I have nothing against this guy, really. If there's a real fag it's Justin Bieber, that annoying little girl.

Anyway, referring to what I said earlier about my movie hunches, yes I did enjoy the show. Why? Because I liked that it strayed from your typical gloomy dramas, not that I've watched much of them, but I just feel that the element of cliche is absent. And the three main household names are only Pattinson, Chris Cooper and Pierce Brosnan. That's all. The rest including the cute lead actress (Emilie De Ravin) I've never heard of before.

It's nice to see that Pattinson didn't let all his fame lie on his role as the sparkly I-have-no-idea-why-they-find-him-so-attractive vampire. He ventured a little out and tried proving his worth in a movie that has an indie kinda feel to it. I wouldn't say it helped him show that he was that diverse an actor but instead I would say he was fitted into a perfectly suited role. Firstly it's emo and so is Twilight. Secondly he had to put on the thinking-artist look which he also did in Twilight. Thirdly the role he plays needs his hair to be messy which was also the case in Twilight.

About the thinking-artist look, that's the one thing I find weird. Even his co-actors find it hot. I mean, seriously? How does having an emotionally tortured look attract people? You look like you just found out you had cancer or having being kicked in the emotional nuts and girls go crazy for you?

seriously what's with that look?

With that having been said/typed, you should already know the basis of the movie. It's emo and it's gloomy. The sense of hopelessness and despair just hovers all over the premise of the film. It even starts on a really unhappy note.

In spite of that the movie eventually starts to grow affectionate and it has it's warm scenes. It has the indie drama thing going on that somehow really appeals to me especially when the actors just naturally know how to maintain that atmosphere. The sulkiness was eventually balanced by that little sense of heartwarming feeling, like when a small bright flower grows on the pavement crack of a war-torn country.

The whole movie plot is hard to be put into a defined form but the scenario best explains everything. Tyler Hawkins (Pattinson) is a young adult that doesn't have a proper grip on his whole life. Marred by the death of his older brother, he is a wreck in all ways. Living in somewhat of a rut seeming to mope all the time in contrast to his chirpy roommate, he lives without any aim or goal. The only things that matter to him are his younger sister Caroline and his deceased brother. The only thing that strikes him out is his volatility and his untimed outbursts which was highlighted quite much in the flick.

He gets into trouble for trying to do the right things but always falls on his face eventually. You can actually empathize with him seeing how much life itself calls him a loser. Now the pivotal point is when he meets this girl who's the daughter of a cop (Chris Cooper) he got into trouble with. Anyone would know how things could go south from there. He cares for his family and tries to get his father (Pierce Brosnan), whom he blames for the death of his brother, to care as well. Things also go south from there as he gets involved in conflicts with almost everyone.

The characters do somehow feel spontaneous and it makes things seem more real. This is of course in contrast to your typical dramas or rom-coms where you just feel that all the characters talk the same way. They would definitely say this in response to this or the guy, as charming as he looks will always have something boringly witty to say to the girl he just met. This is what I meant when I mentioned that it strayed from the cliche. The script deviated from that common conversations that go on between the characters although it wasn't anything too good or special.

Even with the little star power inside, the film doesn't in much ways stand out in the acting department. Nothing bad, nothing too good. No Oscar performances going on. What kept it standing well was the screenplay and how each scene and situation kept the tensions brewing waiting just to culminate into something significant.

Another part I judge strongly on: the ending. One thing I can say that for a movie like this, there is actually a twist. It is weird and that would be one of the last things I thought the film would be related to. But of course I don't like to spoil, although I know no one would read this far down this post (c'mon, this is one of my longer movie posts). What I could say is that it gave the character Tyler more meaning and how worthwhile his role was in the whole mix of conflicts.

Nutshell: Appeals to me, though many may find it distasteful.

Verdict: 8.2/10

Born Bound, Grown Free

2010-06-06T03:13:00.000-07:00

See that random stranger or those millions walking past you? Don't be one of them.

You're born into a Chinese family, a Malay one or even an Indian one. You are now ignorant and curious of the world. Everything you see is puzzling as it is fascinating. You wanna touch everything, bite everything, know everything, see and smell everything. Your parents; they tell you what they want you to know and instinctively want the best for you.

Slowly cultured in you are the actions you take after the people around you. Embedded into you are what the people around you are familiar with. They subconsciously teach and guide you to challenge the darkness and the unfamiliar with hostility of fear that it threatens your way of life, or rather, their way of life. They see the flaws of other cultures but not their own. No doubt each will silently form their own prejudices against each other.

That's the case for all of us, even me.

One thing constantly eludes me. It never justifies itself with any form of reason and no matter how much this thought twists and no matter how much I try to chase it with logic, it raises more questions and never is caught with any certainty.

Your parents obviously want the best for you, but do they themselves know what is best? Do they even know what's best for themselves?

They may want to guide you based on what they've experienced and want you to make the right choices. Let's say when they're your age. They have 3 choices: A, B and C. They took choice A and regretted it. So they tell you to take choice B or C so you wouldn't regret it. But they haven't made those choices so how would they know that the outcome would be better than choice A? Maybe it would be worse. So then how do they know best?

They have been guided by rules and traditions. And all the people before them as well. All of them are bound, held tight by constrictions that rely on foolish superstition and it restricts the advancement of humankind. Whatever the culture is, it forbids the acceptance of other people that have the same capabilities as ourselves. Other humans. The rich shun the poor as the poor resent the rich. This barrier has been made and carried on by our ancestors and as long as we continue to live in this delusional state of mind, we will continue to fight wars and kill each other. We'll continue to be stupid.

Not only do we as individuals get locked into single-minded views, but we reinforce these views for each other until the culture itself suffers the same mindlessness -Ellen Langer-

A lot of us hold on to cultures that are absurd and they bind us from experiencing the fullness that's in life. These regressive views lock us into leading lives that are insipid until we die. And before we die, we instill this stupidity into the lives of our children and ruin their innocence. We perform lame rituals and hold on to tedious traditions so as to please our conscience by saying that "I did the right thing." Let's not go into religion and all that shit, but just take the common mindset as an example:

Get an education, get a job, work up the ladder, get married, get children, get old, die.

So many people got this in their heads that they let this ideal run their lives. As long as all the above requirements are met before our expiry date, everyone's happy. So much potential is lost. Dreams are discarded and branded childish. Ambition is labelled naive. New ideas that challenge the norm are viewed as heresy.

People, even me, don't realize that we're free.

Great music comes from those that know life is their sandbox. They thrive on the emotions they arouse with their art. A lot of brilliant thinkers, artists and revolutionists realize that they can live forever with their gifts. Those that fall early in their striving for the love of what they are and what they do still pave many paths for other people to add flavor into life. We live on their heritage.

If the common 'live and wait for death' mindset is your thing, good for you.

But I know that whatever I'm doing, I'm doing it knowing that I'm free. I may not be a great artist, leader or whatever. But I'll go much further than I can without being chained and bound.

Movie: Crazy Heart (2009)

2010-05-27T13:09:00.000-07:00

Truthfully, I have a knack for staying away from bad movies. Even the thought of giving one of 'those' movies a try makes me cringe.

Case in point, all the movies I download are at least average. There's no bad movie in the list. That's why I depend a lot on movie reviews or some other person's opinion to affect my decision whether or not a certain movie is worth the time and bandwidth.

With that being said, you do know that I think Crazy Heart is not a bad film. But is it a good one?

Yes it is.

As a brief introduction, this story revolves around an artist - a country singer. Bad Blake - as he likes to be known - is in a post-rockstar predicament where he is relatively popular among people living in the southern region of the states. Back in his glory days he wrote really good acoustic-driven songs that garner him fame domestically.

By post-rockstar I mean he has writer's block, is in a shithole (alcoholic, smoker, bad health) and is almost broke. So he goes around trying to earn himself extra bucks by playing in bars and other small venues. His fate takes a big turn when he meets Jeannie Craddock (Maggie Gyllenhaal) who develops to be his love interest. An offer of big money also leads him to reluctantly accept to an opening role for Tommy Sweet (Colin Farrell) whom he mentored to be a star country artist.

This all leads to be what is an inspirational story about life's biggest regrets and picking yourself from your own shithole. With that being said, the inspirational comes from how brilliantly the actors delivered.

The three stars of the show are basically Jeff Bridges, Maggie Gyllenhaal and Colin Farrell. Colin was just okay, Bridges was stellar in his performance and Gyllenhaal was excellent in her role. The two main highlights were Bridges and how he shone along with the amazing songs written for this movie. He crafted out an Oscar-worthy performance (in which he won best lead actor) playing in the skin of a bad-ass country singer who is in need of getting his shit together.

Throughout the course of the flick the songs were really good. It may not be a lot of people's cup of tea but it set the atmosphere for the movie pretty well. And another cool fact is that the songs weren't dubbed, so Colin Farrell and Jeff Bridges needed some vocal coaching to pull the songs off. The end result were songs that sounded real cause they were actually sung by the actors. The downside was the songs probably took a large chunk of spotlight in the movie away, although not significantly affecting it. Most shows that involve music use the music as a gimmick to cover up poor screenplay flaws or anything similar, but the music in this occasion was significant besides being somewhat charming.

Movies that end well without leaving loose ends here and there really get in my good books. So I gotta say that the epilogue was played out nice and wrapped things up in a good note. That's a plus. The minus is the fact that there were parts in the course of the film that were kinda offbeat and had a very indie feel to it. That doesn't play well for a mainstream flick. The first half of the show was building up slowly and seemed insignificant but it was all vindicated by the second half of the show, with an emotional and engrossing display by the characters dealing with their situations.

Again, a big plus goes to the soundtrack of the film. The songs were well written with beautiful music and sincerely genuine lyrics - in a country way. For this film it convincingly communicated the feelings and emotions of the story and characters powerfully to the audience. We've seen many sappy inspirational flicks before, they all thrive on a similar basis. But the soundtrack really highlighted this flick amongst most.

Nutshell: A heartwarming and embracing affair powered by astonishing performances.

Verdict: 8.8/10

Bump!

2010-05-26T09:07:00.000-07:00

Got into an accident today.

Not me actually, was KC.

Shame really, we got into an accident with a woman driver.

I can name you someone who doesn't like them.

KC didn't like how unserious I was, but I don't care. It's better than cringing in fear. You can't emo forever.

I would be pissed if I was the one driving. But shit happens. It's normal to feel anxiety and fear but keep your shit together and calm the fuck down. Gosh.

And woman driver, you say you want to cut lanes in the roundabout and that it's okay and you do it all the time? No one cut's other people's lane in the roundabout. You come in left, you stay left. You come in right, you stay right. What else did they teach you in driving school? Oh yeah, right of way bitch, learn it.

I don't think all women drivers are sucky. Some of them are real damn good drivers, like one of my friend's mom. She kicks road bullies in the nads. But there are a good number who are disastrous, besides Penang drivers.

At least gender stereotyping is better than racism. The big black man won't come get you and put a cap in yo' ass.

what the fuck you say vanilla face?!

The car nevertheless still needs fixing. Someone's wallet gonna get scorched. Shit just got real.

Anyhow, shit happens. Just glad it didn't get real bad.

Movie: The Blind Side (2009)

2010-05-25T10:28:00.000-07:00

I can't really describe why I was never a fan of Sandra Bullock. It's one of the reasons - aside bad official reviews - that I didn't watch The Proposal, though I did like Ryan Reynolds (Definitely, Maybe anyone?). Anyhow, I did choose to watch this due to the award nominations for Bullock's performance.

And yes, she did do well. I don't really get why it was nominated for best picture though.

It is based on a true story about a guy in a destitute state after being separated from his family since a child and having no valid identity and very vague memories of his origins. Being sheltered by his friend's father on a couch, Michael Oher is enrolled in a Christian school in which he doesn't fit in at all, due to the fact that he comes from the poorer side of town studying in a rich man's area.

Now Leigh Anne (Bullock), being a mother in a rich Christian family sympathizes with Michael's condition and decides to shelter him. Michael now finds himself in a weird new environment but soon finds himself showered with love and blessings as well as excelling steadily academically; uncovering also his astounding potential in sports that soon leads him to be a professional athlete. Along the way it shows the developing bond between Michael and his new-found family.

One thing this show reminds me of: Precious. Firstly, both are based on novels. Secondly, both have XXL colored leads. Thirdly, both leads come from sad backgrounds. Fourth, both are inspirational stories which thrives on the basis that someone other than the lead's own family emotionally supports the character to progress in life. Fifthly, both movies have nominations at the Oscars. Those are a few similarities too many.

Anyway, I can say that it's a show that one actor brought to life. And yes that actress is Sandra Bullock. I did however feel that the supporting cast didn't do too much of a bright job, more like a reasonably okay one. The guy playing Michael (forgot his name) didn't do as well as the girl from Precious (yeah i forgot the other name also) and the same can be said for the supporting casts for both movies.

One department this movie does well in is the emotional part. I felt that it did communicate the pitiful condition of the character well to the audience aside slowly progressing the relation between Michael to the Touhy family (I still can't pronounce that well). I did feel that the director/writer was playing it kinda safe by not adding an edge to the movie. This kind of edge in movies usually bring out the best in a movie star's performance usually in a climax (eg. the argument scene between Meryl Streep and Philip Seymour Hoffman in Doubt)

The plot was driven in slightly less cliche direction and culminated in engaging scene which shows the fruits of the Michael's progress made throughout the film. One odd thing is that the family portrayed in the film is too good to be true (loads of cash, hot daughter, sporty and bright son, almost-perfect mother, extremely supportive father). For a true story it gets me kinda skeptical on the truthfulness of 'true' in the 'true story'.

so idealistic

I know it made the movie good, but I didn't quite like how Bullock (probably) unintentionally stole a lot of the spotlight from the lead. Well since she wasn't really placed in the role of supporting but more to lead-side actress, something like that is kinda expected, given also the fact that the guy is relatively unknown. His performance was still plausible nonetheless.

One other thing was that the movie felt like it had a kind of moral standpoint where it would portray a certain type of wholesomeness in spite of the ugly origins of the main character. He kinda reminds me of John Coffey from The Green Mile. Big, tough but absolutely harmless. It was unlike Precious, where the premise of the film is as ugly as the dirt that tainted Precious' life.

Nutshell: An emotional wholesome inspirational plot that makes it a comfy Sunday afternoon movie.

Verdict: 6.2/10

Movie: State of Play (2009)

2010-05-23T11:57:00.000-07:00

Okay, firstly, this movie is old. 2009, but old. Old because they're already showing it on Astro.

That, in my terms, is old. I'm insulting myself if I download a movie and Astro's ahead of me. Unless it's a classic or something old I wanna catch up with. So now there's Star Trek.

Secondly, Russell Crowe (A Beautiful Mind, Gladiator, Robin Hood) is a good actor. How good? He made this movie look good. Or his versatility allowed him to make his character carry the film pretty well, considering the amount of screen time he has in this 2 hour affair. You give Bruce Willis this role and he'll throw on all the jaded ex-cop type of performance as shown in the majority of his works (Die Hard, Hosatge, Last Boy Scout etc.). Good, but not suitable. Same goes for Matt Damon or Leonardo DiCaprio. They look too sophisticated, unsuitable. They'd go more for the military type of shows (Green Zone, Body of Lies)

So what do you do with a character that's a slob, rugged yet intelligent? You give it to the likes of Russell Crowe, Robert Downey Jr., Anthony Hopkins. You know, those type of actors.

Thirdly, I'm gonna start touching on the movie itself, cause that's what this post is really all about. I'm not an expert on movies and all that. I like to download them (hey, what do we pay Streamyx for?) and write about what I think of it. You want expert opinion, there's always IMDB or my personal favorite Rotten Tomatoes.

If I was a journalist that had a politician friend (let's say he's my bestie) and he needs my help in some story that can save his sorry ass; behind this story there's a conspiracy, a corporate conspiracy that involves corruption and the well-being of the nation. Behind that is also the fact that I'm sleeping with his wife. Then there's a dilemma between saving his ass and work priorities and a hot assistant doing the story of the conspiracy no one believes to be true. Slowly the mystery is unveiled in some cool thrilleriffic fashion and of course, the unburied truth would hurt.

The premise of the movie sounds familiar in a lot of fashions. At least now I've learned to appreciate these type of movies as all the jargon in the script makes sense. But one thing doesn't quite add up; you have an assistant as hot as Rachel McAdams, but you choose to drill a tired-looking person who's someone else's wife? Starting to sound too pervy, I should stop.

Anyway, I liked the acting and the cinematography, although we've seen it a lot before. There's also a good cast. Helen Mirren, Jason Bateman and Ben Affleck (surprised he did pretty okay). Plot was nice, kept me on my toes long enough for it to qualify as a decent conspiracy thriller. It didn't comprise of much action though, as I was expecting a little more of that. Well I thought the ending should've been more dramatic, cause endings usually have the most impact on me compared to first impression in movies. Ended kinda like the director just wanted to get it over with.

One thing I didn't like was the undeniable fact that it is still going to be a forgettable movie.

The performance by each actor was nonetheless praiseworthy, but Russell Crowe's performance was really top-notch and stood out among all the rest, and he didn't even have to cry in the movie to prove his worth. Brilliant.

Nutshell: A good watch backed by a solid plot, sparked by good actors and ignited by a brilliant lead.

Verdict: 8.2/10

The Importance of Being Idle

2010-05-22T12:38:00.000-07:00

There used to be a time when I was rushing on a daily basis without fail.

Take Thursday, busiest day. Wake up, wash up and all that shit, rush out by foot to catch the bus to reach school on time or make it in time for the carpool. Waste time in school (sleep, ponteng etc.) and stay back to do homework/fall asleep and all that shit and walk my ass to tuition. Anderson to Elim, just imagine the distance (it's not near even with the shortcut). And no, there's no bus that brings me there.

Come back from tuition (thank you Mr. Hin for all the car rides back) and rush to prep dinner before running (okay, maybe walking) to Chem, reaching late most of the time. Exhausted, I come back to find dinner not eaten. Eat, wash dishes (hate it, so tired by this part) and yes, sleep! Oh no, there's homework/folio/daily devotions (yes, I had that once upon a time and yes, I did do some of my homework) and it's 1 a.m. Fuuuuckk...

On a not so busy day, there's all that house chores and shit, plus loads of sleep (recharging). Diligent as hell, I was indeed proud of myself. Saturday, it's struggling to get to church (transport), get there, drain myself, come back and die. Not much of a life. Chasing to beat the clock, mostly.

Miss my times in school? No.

Who could miss that? You miss it when you know you had real friends. Not getting around alone and getting reluctant carpools back. It's cynical, but it's the truth.

One thing I did miss. Second half of Form 5. I did whatever the hell I wanted. Came to school whatever time I liked (usually around 8.30 - 11.00) and never got caught. Well I got caught once or twice, but I escaped anyway. No better way than to feel like a bad ass ninja. I didn't pay any school fees and tried to get away with it. But those assholes refused to release my SPM certs, so I had to give in anyway.

Fast-forward to 2010

Dear reader, if you can see me now, you'll know I ~~never~~ barely leave my room. I'm a freaking hermit, thanks to cyber-space really. You can blame virus-stricken Sally, the beautiful computer lingering in my messy (yes, messy, you rarely get that) room. And I still haven't brought her to get repaired yet, thanks again to cyber-space and oversleeping. Sally has a beautiful voice (thank you Altec Lansing) and is smarter than your average bimbo PC (good i5 processor and 1 TB Western Digital Caviar Black Edition). I am still struck with utter gratitude that I have this PC.

I can never be lazier. I don't wash anything anymore, I don't iron any of my clothes, I procrastinate the simplest things for weeks on end. I do not a single thing. Snooze now doesn't refer to 10 minutes to try waking up, it means I won't be awake for the next 3 hours. This lazy thing is fun.

what up?

Thanks to what? Cyber space. And what does cyber space offer? Facebook (what the hell am I even doing on that rubbish?), shitloads of articles and porn. Lots of porn, cause porn is like cancer, it doesn't stop multiplying. Every single day hundreds of porn sites get new videos and it doesn't show signs of stopping anytime soon. Don't judge me, a lot of you blokes watch porn. Plenty of you girls gotta admit it too. Who knows what kinda weird fetish you people are into? Who knows what you fantasize doing to your partner? Only you know, dear anonymous reader...

Grab your dick and double click for PORN PORN PORN!

As for my daily routines, I'm as groggy as hell when you people breathe the morning air. I drop unconscious the moment any signs of sunrise emerge. Wake up in the evening, lock myself up and repeat the cycle. I can see the judgement in my parents' eyes (no wait, it's only my dad) when I get up half dead late in the afternoon to crawl out of my cave to hunt for food. I open the styrofoam container, devouring my ready-made prey before returning to hibernation.

Unhealthy, but fun.

Anyway, I lost touch with many of you folks out there. And within a few months I'll be able to catch up with some of you in college. Until then...

Movie: Law Abiding Citizen (2009)

2010-05-21T10:55:00.000-07:00

A nice solid watch. Serious, tense and a thinking man's show. By far I haven't found a flick that applies so much humanity to a conspiracy thriller cause mostly these sort of shows focus on the mystery and puzzle behind what initially happens. I like that it centralizes the decisions that each character makes to drive the plot in its whatever direction it may go.

In short, I like the plot direction, at least initially. But more on that later.

Now if you have a father who watches as his family is animalistically murdered and denied justice due to the fact that the legal system is flawed, it seems like one of those Steven Seagal or Van Damme movies where the dude knows kick-ass martial arts and beats his way to the bad guy to give him a nice ass-whooping. Where's the relatability in that? Of course the dude's the protagonist and people will say he's the good guy in spite of all the henchman he murdered along the way. Don't those other dudes have families too?

This film on the other hand, helps relate the pain of Clyde Shelton (Gerard Butler) to the audience by portraying his jaded humanity to them and as a means to justify his following actions. Because of the heavily flawed legal system, he is denied justice and a killer runs free. Nick Rice (Jamie Foxx), a lawyer who couldn't maneuver the law causes the killer to run free. Clyde blames him, but is he the bad guy?

Now Clyde, with his God-given talents, systematically murders whoever is involved in his case and to continue doing so until the entire legal system crumbles and brings the country to its knees. Nick on the other hand, doesn't know how Clyde does it all while confined in his prison cell and that makes up for the conspiracy part. And the thriller is how their gonna stop him in time before everything goes down. Now Clyde seems like the bad guy, but it's the cruelty of people and vulnerability of the system that provoked all of it, and his reasons seem agreeable with to some but some may beg to differ. So is he now really the bad guy?

The plot is a potential for something massive.

What I don't like is what they did to the potential. The script was written nicely to build up the mystery in the plot but... it all went downhill from there. What they built with good tempo in screenplay and ambiance, ends in an underwhelming experience. It wasn't something bafflingly stupid, but it wasn't the kind of reaction you would get from watching Saw. Clyde's methods had finesse like Dalton Russell's (Clive Owen) in Inside Man with the added grimness though lacking the wit portrayed in the heist scenes in the Ocean's series. The humanity in the show was portrayed well till the end but climax onwards was an understatement of what could've been.

Anyway, I did like that there were only two major stars in such a serious film so that no one else hogs the needed spotlight. Script wasn't complicated, acting was good. Message sent was loud and clear. Meets the criteria for a solid thriller.

Nutshell: Good, check. Excellent, almost there.

Verdict: 7.5/10

Movie: Valentine's Day (2010)

2010-05-20T15:28:00.000-07:00

It's a chick=flick. I know. Since it's something festive, I'll dismiss the fact that it's one and watch the bloody thing anyway.

A movie based on one single day? You can't do that with a normal cast of actors. So within the course of an entire day, you fit in lots of characters with similar yet different stories.

Smart, but tricky.

Tricky because I don't think it's easy to have so much star power in a flick and still be able to provide ample screen time for each of the characters so as to not make the film a disastrously confusing and clumsy affair. In that department I have only found one movie that has been able to pull that off (minus the extravagant amount of stars) plus being an award-winning title. Crash.

I can think of this as the rom-com version of Crash. The intertwining stories thing. Crash is tragic and emo, while this is cheery and lovey-dovey. Honestly why I watched this flick is due to the huge ensemble of actors and that in many ways can go wrong. It did in some scenes where the characters were introduced and the facts were everywhere. This person is related to this person in this way and this other person is linked this way to another who has this situation which causes such and such to happen to the initial person.

I don't remember most of the names till even past half of the movie.

I just see the face and go "Oh, the Julia Roberts character" or "Oh, yeah the Bradley Cooper guy". But I gotta know it's bound to happen when I wanna see to many actors all at once.

Although the character emphasis should be evenly played out to all the main cast, I feel like some were a little too left out and some were a little too emphasized. I'd prefer to see more Patrick Dempsey than Ashton Kutcher (seriously, this guy?) or more Emma Roberts than Jennifer Gardner. But generally they all had a fair amount of spotlight.

Awesome star power

This movie to me had a lot of ups and some disturbing downs, but it's all a very light-hearted affair, nothing you can really take so seriously (major down) and somewhat forgettable. One big mistake made was George Lopez cause that guy is not funny, and he's trying to be. You can actually see him trying really hard on screen to look and sound funny, which is uncomfortable.

One cute and unconventional move was to cast Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner, with the first being a ~~semi-retarded~~ bimbo-ish character and the latter being a jock. They have no real plot, cause I think it's just to attract more viewers. If you're not sure whether your child's a guy or girl, name it Taylor.

Weird

In view of the plot, I think the character intertwining was done alright and it actually did make sense in the end. There were some minor plot twists here and there. But for something like that it wasn't as good as Crash or Love Actually. It sure serves as a decent mood-enhancing Sunday afternoon flick that brightens up an occasion like Valentine's Day though. That's a plus side.

Oh, another plus side is the soundtrack. I think it was two songs by Taylor Swift thats kinda lovey-dovey as most of her songs pretty much are which in my opinion serves well for the atmosphere of the flick. As for her acting... bleh.

Nutshell: A bright compilation of typical rom-coms.

Verdict: 5.9/10

Yours is a Dream and it Won't Be Long

2010-05-13T10:39:00.000-07:00

I didn't mean to emo-post. Really, I didn't mean to.

But I was drawn in by darkness and the inevitable happens. Well it's not like I wanna kill myself or anything (that would be stupid) but maybe it was caused by the lack of brightness or should people say 'positivity'. If anyone were in those shoes of mine, it's not easy to be positive about such a situation. Yeah, you can go bitch to God and plea to Him about how bad humanity has been to you but He has obviously been through worse so He'll most likely tell you to suck it up. Especially all those out-of-emotion ones.

"please God, kill those bastards for me"

Anyhow, the whole course of this season of change and transition into a new phase of life is really taking a long time. Taking into account to preparations and complication in plans, it's no doubt it took so long.

Thank goodness I have now here a new PC to accompany me through these boring times. Many argue (many being only my parents) that this is rotting away my social capabilities and sanity, which is partly true. But what am I to do? No one's left in Ipoh for me. Well those who are left are either in Form 6 or are just like I am, a hermit.

What's left in Ipoh for me is lots of futsal, and even that has an expiry date. It expires before I leave, cause people leave before I do. Get a job? No, cause I have to frequent KL and do future accommodations. In the meantime Sally (yes, that's my PC's name) will accompany me and it will be legen-wait for it-dary! How sweet is it having a computer that you earned with your own hard-earned money? Very sweet. Cause it's an entirely different feeling. This is earned, every hardware (maybe not the headphones, I'm borrowing and will get one soon), every software (okay maybe not the games), every sound. When your parents spoil you with buying you whatever you want or giving you chunks and chunks of money to spend, you don't earn it, you just sit your ass down and ask. But no, I own this thing, this is mine and I'm appreciating it while I still can.

It's not much, but sweet it still is

Yours may be an iPod of the newest gen, an Alienware kick-ass PC or even a new car of your own, but nothing beats the feeling of using something that is entirely yours. The days of work and the hours of study (okay there weren't many for study) were piled up to EARN this PC. I don't care what other people have that I don't, cause I earned this.

I have to say though, I have myself been spoiled in many ways and I've learned from that.Seeing spoiled fools running their mouths bout how life sucks to them does actually annoy me. No more, every man for himself now, and I refuse to ask for things I'm not deserving of. That's my pride, that's my stand, that's my principle. But do cut me some slack if I get a little greedy. Happens.

It may not apply for all of you, but to all of you overfed guinea brats, I win.

Like Whiplash said: You lose.

Shoot To Thrill

2010-05-12T22:03:00.000-07:00

Now there's this time where I feel like blogging and have something substantial to blog about.

That time is now.

Well actually it was last night, but some physical circumstances and lack of opportunity derailed me from my intentions. Nows not such a bad time, though I can't make so much time cause of work I gotta get done.

To the point now. I just recently caught up by catching one movie, and it's not one that I downloaded (which means I still have the stash of outdated data still left unwatched). Iron Man 2, my favorite Marvel movie by far (after the first one) and my expectations were high. If you ask me for my expectations on other Marvel productions such as Spiderman or X-Men, I would be like "Meh, not expecting much", but mention Tony Stark and that's something I wanna see.

Plus, there's Scarlett Johansson. More on that later. The casting was good: Gwyneth Paltrow, Sam Rockwell, Micky Rourke, Don Cheadle and Sam L. Jackson. I mean how can you not love this cast? Sammy Jackson made snakes look fucking badass. No, he makes everything look badass. Not forgetting also Robert Downey Jr., who bleeds with awesomeness.

No matter how awesome the cast was, Jon Favreau (he's Happy Hogan, the boxing guy) and his direction of the movie didn't really cut it. The plot was out of place. The script was nicely laced with wit (if Stark didn't have wit I would've walked out of the cinema) and it along with some of the character chemistry really kicked in nicely. But the fight scenes were predictably predictable. Very meh-ish. Not the Black Widow fight scene though. More on that later. Whiplash looked pretty mean with the whole kick-ass electric appeal, but was played out quite pathetically. I mean Iron Man can take so much ass-kicking and still stand up, you get less knocking and you're already down. So much for all the big-ass muscles.

Sam Rockwell did his job really well. Why? Cause Justin Hammer was fucking annoying. I never thought of him good as anything other than the bad guy, that's his inborn talent - to be the bad guy in movies. Don Cheadle was kinda textbook with his acting but for a side character that pays off pretty well. Samuel L. Jackson didn't appear as much as some of the irrelevant side cast. Shame. He could've just projected all his awesome aura and made the movie freaking awesome. Nick Fury shouldn't be black, at least he wasn't initially. But with Sam playing the role, I don't really mind after all.

Well in spite of the movie not really living up to my expectations, I think it was a pleasure to watch it. It was at its core an enjoyable flick and it had kick-ass AC/DC soundtrack. So, I'm not gonna rate it. In most cases I never rate Marvel movies.

Speaking of kick-ass, I wanna watch Kick-Ass. Why? Cause it's kick-ass. And Ip Man 2 of course, mostly due to the hype surrounding it.
___________________________________________________

Okay I said more of Scarlett Johansson later. And later is now. Yes it is.

First point, she's hot. Everyone knows that. Second point, she has just gotten hotter in Iron Man 2.

Here's why.

Now compare her to the past.

Notice the difference? The latter is blonde, the earlier is red-headed. Blonde makes her look more bland, more innocent, more less-hot. Dark red hair makes her look fiery, intense, vicious. Result: Hotter.

Adding to that is the velvet skin (yeah I know, make-up), the enticingly focused look and the sultry voice. Even her name is hot. No one names their daughter Scarlett unless their sure she's gonna melt the polar ice caps. That's a wholesome package of hot. And that's only describing her from chest up. You all know the rest of the details.

So thus therefore, Gwyneth Paltrow can eat her heart out. Scarlett makes her look like an auntie that manages your company (that's right Stark). Ryan Reynolds is indeed a lucky Canadian.

be happy buddy

Alternate Realm

2010-04-27T21:59:00.000-07:00

Like I said earlier, the devil has been a very loyal companion of mine, if that's in any way healthy.

I hear more in the silence, in the dark. It amuses me how much I recall things and how much more aware of things I am when I'm not busy babbling away. I'm in a different realm.

People may now blame anger for my reason of silence and solitude, but it's although it's true I don't want to speak due to reasons that may lead to a flaring of rage, it's more true that I'm in a different world. I'm not angry, but wary of the situation, cause when I speak it leads to a lot of misunderstandings. Better to let people think I'm a fool than open my mouth and prove them right.

I've spent one too many hours slumbering. And the dreams are getting more vivid and terrifying. Shame really, cause if I could project my dreams out for people to see, then probably they'd understand my negative vibe. It's hard to pen it down in words, cause the only words that i could describe best the realm in my sleep is despair, loss, and constant fear.

It's an asylum in there.

Maybe this is how a recluse feels like. Night after night, nap after nap, I'm accompanied by dreams of loss. I always lose something dear, and it ends in gut-wrenching sadness. The bandits are regular people on the streets, a lot of which I've come across before. The people I know often run away, as if they knew already my fate. After this, do you think I can trust anyone?

When I'm awake, the despair translates into reality. I feel the fear in this reality. My conscience screams louder than the whole world around me, the feelings amplified more than the words people speak around me. They speak background noise, whatever grudges I have are not present, but just the fear of distrust. My conscience screams for me to isolate myself because they'd only further fuel to the fear.

This is no way to live.

Only I can help me, but please, don't step on me. Or I'd bite the fuck back.

The Reality of This Silence

2010-04-27T11:06:00.000-07:00

The devil has accompanied me lately.

He's seen the lack of joy and overflow of gloominess in my lifestyle, and has ultimately decided we have alot of mutual interests and he would appreciate my company. We spend plenty of time together you see. And it's a shame none of my ~~friends~~ family members realize it.

The reality of the situation is: My family is standing to live a life of fear and retreat and loss. Every action and the course of life everyday leads only to more fear, grief and pain, although they don't realize it. I chose to grow out of it and not stand for any of this fucking shit. I chose to stand up against these elements. I chose to break free from the shell of silence and whether it sounds sweet or bitter, to tell people the naked truth.

The truth of our reality is that it is sad. It is full of people keeping silent about all the bitterness and as the past has proven, flood our lives with more remorse and regret. I want everyone to be aware of the dissatisfaction in my heart and the however evil it may seem, the nature of my feelings that have been an enigma to everybody for most of the years of my life. When there is a problem a little bitterness is shown and the rest is embedded, only to aid in the arising of more serious problems, although the matter is trivial.

People have to know plainly how I feel, because frankly, through these recent years I feel insulted as a human being. Not because I have been treated like a dog, but because you insult me by thinking I have no human value and you can categorize my brother, mother and I as stupid, disgraceful, incompetent, worthless and when I phrase my dissatisfaction in proper words, you call me insensitive and an unappreciative being.

For the littlest of matters there is an outrage from your part and you condemn us because we cannot live up to your standards. I see my mother cringe constantly in fear that your standards are not met and that we have to swallow all your remarks on how useless we are. Do you seriously think an ideal life is to have a home glowing as bright as the fucking commercials on TV? Do you think that respect means to not communicate any of our ill feelings and to just listen to every fucking word you say?

Now I ask myself one question: Can I ever sit you down and reason with you anything without you coming up with all your 'points' on why we are wrong and why we are the reason the family is falling apart?

You think it's so fun bottling up all the anger and frustration through the years while listening to you pile all the remarks on me? Whenever your frustration boils a little up, you so conveniently heap the burden on us. How nice.

Have you wondered why it is so easy for us to express ourselves when we're not around you?

Another reality is: I very often take your perspective and listen to your reasons to why we're wrong. Surely enough you're more experienced and would definitely have a better reason for the certain situations. In most situations I disagree and sometimes also feel that your take on certain things are narrow-minded and plain stupid.

But do I tell any of that to you? No. Now when my logic you debunk, you may phrase it all harmlessly, like "That's a very unfair statement to make" or just plain scoff at it, but the message is so clear. It's a nicer way of you saying "Don't be stupid" or "If you know nothing, shut up". Then comes all the sarcasm, that when you're 'mad' because we're not as perfect as you want us to be. The acid in your tone, the fucking glare which is supposed to scare us.

You think it scares me? It pisses me off.

So nice a household that runs on intimidation. A lot of our focus is to not make you angry, and that's bloody stupid, a wrong way to live.

Now one innocuous statement and ~~suddenly~~ as usual you bring up all the blessings that we have and how unappreciative we are and keep questioning with regret why you gave us all those things. Yeah, if you didn't truly want to, why did you? Now what, you want to blame us for forcing you to give us all those things?

That wasn't even a fraction of what I have to say in my mind. I know the real things in my head can really hurt people, and if this is the case, all the more reason for me not to say anything. I will keep everything to myself and you will know nothing, nothing at all. Surely there are people more willing to hear what I have to say. This will be the reality of my silence.

Some truths:
- I do blame my social introverted nature on you.
- My negativity is caused by the emotional strain that I had to bottle up over the years. Thanks to you, I'm numb.
- My standards are ridiculously high because of you.
- My fear of failure is caused by you.

Jeremy tells me to give in and be a hypocrite and see the future rewards. He asks me to let shine the mercenary part of myself, to be profit-minded. Too bad, I have an ego that will stand its ground, cause after all, I won't stand to be insulted anymore. I will not apologize for my statements, and I don't give a fuck how hurtful it is.

A man takes insults, keeps a poker face and moves on. A man handles pain, faces challenges and clenches his teeth, making no noise. But a man also has pride, ego and emotions. A man holds his own and will refuse to be pushed around.

I will stand my ground and not accept this regression. You can say I should count my blessings and not bitch about all these small matters. Well, you didn't go through it so it's small to you. I do count my blessings, which adds to the insult when people say I don't appreciate my blessings. I won't grow to be a prideless mongrel because no matter how hard it is for you to believe, I have principles.

The Words That Tell A Sacred Story

2010-04-19T14:09:00.000-07:00

They are modern day's best rock n' roll band, disbanded or not, like it or not.

Rock n' roll star lifestyles. All the fame can tear any of us, some until we can't do what we do best anymore.

But in spite of all the shite, they still make it happen, they still make good music.

This song is magic. It means so much.

The Pivot That Tilts It All

2010-04-19T13:52:00.000-07:00

Recently got a very easy job that requires no experience whatsoever. The pay's decent, but I gave it to my brother.

He's desperate for cash, and I just heard from him some very bemusing proposals coming from Shaun for the brocassion. No way in hell I'm spending hard earned cash on that. I do understand the importance of good company, but I refuse to understand good company on a bad trip.

Please do understand my homophobia.

Doing cool things together is cool, but there are some things that make it look like an episode on Gaywatch. You can argue on how it is not gay, but in the end, it still feels gay.

Now just got back from another day-trip to KL. Most of all these trips are mostly fruitless but I still go due to the part of it that involves making a decision that changes everything.

Sure the simple question may arise: Which place for tertiary studies?

Simple questions can get really complicated sometimes.

It may not occur to many people as to how important such a decision is, even if the institutes I have to choose are of almost the same standards. It changes things, it's a point which steers the course of my entire life. There was this once where I had to look for my birth cert in this file where all the documents(from the past) regarding my kindergarten & primary school application letters as well as forms were. As I looked through it I saw a story; kind of a sequence of events. I was set to enter Chung Tuck, some chinese school in Simee. But my dad somehow saw that as unsuitable & sent a few plea letters & somehow managed to fit me into Cator Avenue.

And that changed every single thing. Every bit of person I am now was molded by where I developed. Sure some people can argue that if I were to go Chung Tuck my life could have been better & I would some advantages that I don't have now. No, fuck that.

I loved the way I turned out to be, the parts of me where people hate & love. The people I met & the things I learned. The way I think, the way I dress, my interests, the way I speak, my ideologies and my mindset. A chinese school environment would never have churned me out this way. Imagine a lala Ben, so colorful that I vomit out rainbows. No way I would want that.

Yes, I do think that lalas are inferior & ~~rotten~~ poorly cultured creatures. They are humans, no doubt, but just are a pain to look at. Try to prove otherwise, cause I haven't - in terms of personal experiences - heard one of them speak in a polite/proper/ tone. Even a meter away from one another, they ~~yell~~ raise their voices at each other so that the whole world can eavesdrop on them.

And lala guy douchebags, with all your pulled-up polo T collars and excessively ostentatious dressing, don't get me started on you felles...

Anyway, I'm deviating to a hate post. I'll just leave that to be vented out verbally.

Okay, as for the tertiary education issue, it is an important deal where I go. But I can't be too careful & always try to find the perfect place.

Imagine if Jeremy went to the 'perfect place' e.g. Sunway College. Instead of that he went to the most imperfect place he could think of. If Jeremy didn't go TARC, he wouldn't have met some very awesome(according to him) friends.

And hell, I wouldn't have known Oasis. Do you know how much of an impact on life that is?

So maybe TARC was a hard-ass experience but who knows in the long run he could say it was the perfect place to be, cause if not he would have turned out a spoiled twat. Even he admits he'll crumple under stupendous peer pressure.

Every place would have nasty creatures, hot chicks, douchebags, awesome people and life-changing friends to meet.

Who knows I could be one of those life-changing friends to someone.

Goners

2010-04-17T00:28:00.000-07:00

Birmingham 1 - 1 Arsenal

Barcelona 6 - 3 Arsenal (agg.)

Tottenham 2 - 1 Arsenal

The final stages of the season has just tested & proved the quality of Arsenal's performance: Substandard..

Torn apart by Lionel Messi, Kevin Phillips & Danny Rose.

Sure you have the drive to claw back in matches & have raw fight in you, but you need the firepower up front & someone to murder the opposition. Just like Torres, Drogba, Rooney & Tevez.

Throw in the towel this time, learn from it & spend on quality players.

Or else, don't sell your quality players.

Here's a prime example.

Suffice

2010-04-12T01:43:00.000-07:00

I now have sufficient cash to get the PC.

But why am I still working?

I now want the money for the brocassion.Sure, the financial blessings due to my results was a plus point, but I need to convert more time into money so I won't be left for broke when I suddenly want something.

I just quit Johnny's. It's about time I did that. Now just gonna have to work out the rest of the remaining time & venture into an entirely different job. Mostly boring & easy, I'll be sitting down to earn cash. There's no service charge or overtime and the basic is even less but it's still a better choice.

No more Johnny Boy.

PC compiling doesn't seem so hard when there's an almost know-it-all person guiding you through it. All the technical jargon somehow starts to make sense & the logic behind compiling instead of buying a set I couldn't agree more with. Thank you online forums.

Well, this job stuff has made me as unhealthy as hell. Just slept at 8 in the morning. Barely exercising, drinking only 3 glasses of water an entire day, going hungry alot; signs that I have to stop. Throat's killing me everyday. You should see what I spit out every morning. It's bleeding.

And now for once in my life, money doesn't seem to be the problem anymore. I need not look into my wallet and see 1 buck left every time I go for a drink, no more leeching on people's generosity, no more tight budgeting. The only thing missing now is my weekly dose of futsal.

Dammit I need futsal.

Been investing a little interest in the Modfather, Paul Weller. The angry man from The Jam has some cool tunes. Takes a rock n' roll fan to appreciate.

Awesomeness.

Gimme A Break

2010-04-11T15:37:00.000-07:00

A life of choice...

...that's if you live off yourself.

That being the case, this damn education thing is really getting on my nerves.

Deciding the best future for me is what everyone in this delusional family is trying to do.

My results is supposed to bring happiness and joy to everyone. Instead, everyone is frowning and fretting.

Now some people think I'm world-class. I can enter all the best places and attain top honors.

Seriously, I got only 4A+, and my co-curricular is worse than shit. I skip school more than you know and none of my teachers would recommend me. Just being realistic and truthful here.

So you're telling me that the 12A+ students are all entering Harvard and Yale pwning the fuck out of everyone.

Gimme a break.

Now everyone's not satisfied with each other cause they have different views on where 'Einstein' should be.

Let me just enter college first and see where my 'brilliance' takes me. In the meantime, get along. You people are family and have known each other since even before I was born. My future doesn't depend solely on my education. If you don't me air and space to focus, you're really gonna stare failure in the face.

Transparency

2010-04-11T15:10:00.000-07:00

Heaven help you catch me if I fall.

Well, don't.

Things are so different. People dispersed everywhere & some people keep their friends, some people don't.

I choose to be the latter. In fact I've chosen my fate long ago. Parents tell me to keep my true friends, so I kept no one. There are no more friends now, just brothers.

Certain people tell me to be more transparent - to be more accessible. People don't comprehend why I choose to be less 'accessible'.

Now I choose to tell you why. My cynicism is not for open viewing. I share some of my thoughts & some ideas, some maybe very naive perceptions to test the water - to test the people. People cringe, look away, shun, criticize or don't even get what the fuck I'm saying. Yes, I'm 'sick'. True, to be able to mingle I have to masquerade. Correct, I think excessively & shy away from many normal(stereotypical) behaviors.

But now choosing to draw the curtains on me & disguising so as to be able to relate to the norm seems to be the best decision. I have given myself years of consideration so I wouldn't act in this way and to convince myself that it's a stupid & immature decision to make. No one - not even myself - has been able to convince me that I shouldn't act this way.

The way I am, whether you like it or not, will be as it is.

And please, I hear that the vulgarities I picked up is believed to be from Jeremy's influence. It's not a new thing, it's just a reprise of my former self. Do you think I'm 12? Do you think I believe in a world of rainbows & butterflies? My cussing has nothing to do with him. If you wanna blame something for all this cussing, you should probably blame the media for all the shit habits they gave all of us.

And you know what I mean. I'm not having any of that old stuff back. And truly the best sincere years of my life - my high school life - has been in more ways than one, been wasted and burned by how much I tried to be the version of myself that suited people. And no matter how I tried to conform, I remained distant and will always be different. My ideas many people will find hard to swallow, my beliefs & trust barrier will turn many people away.

But that's the way it's going to be from now on. For years I've said the things and follow the things people did. My views on God and Christianity were always what you people thought were right. But now I've realized that none of you people are better in any sense that I should take any of your crap.

And I'm fairly surprised that so many of you have no idea why I left church.

You think it's due to slacking? You think it's because I got bored of praying and reading the bible? I got tired of thinking I was at home when I wasn't. I got tired of seeking for transport from people who weren't willing but were doing it for the sake of being nice. I got tired of calling strangers 'brothers and sisters'. I got tired of people viewing me as a good person when I'm not. I got tired of knowing that I was never being any good there and was growing rotten, evil and stale inside while pretending to have 'grown'.

I prayed for you people, cared to my very core. Cause this life was the only life I knew. I focused every ounce of care I have, no matter how much I know I can't relate to all of you. But why the fuck was I so stupid to do that? Now I've been told to forgive, but you people don't even know what the fuck is wrong. You think this kinda bitterness is gonna sink so easily?

People are selfish and will always be. Everyone is masking themselves. I built upon a foundation of lies to establish some worth for the people outside to see and I know many people do likewise. Why continue to live life a hypocrite?

It's true, I've hurt some people who believed so much in me. But the hurt was because I made them believe in me, not because I left.

It's true, I've leeched on all your sense of goodness and selflessness for my own benefits. And it's funny you people didn't realize it. Only a few people have the good sense to see past me.

Well my interests being absolutely different and the total inability to relate to anyone after 3 years comes as no surprise. I know nobody can ever dig what I dig, but I know outside this enclosed space there are people outside I would love to know more than you people.

I will meet new people, new people will meet me. They will stab my back, they will attempt to leech on my trust, they will get me into trouble. That's the way it is and I'll have to make sure I make the best out of it and not waste it like how I did before.

It is ~~sad~~ better that things end up this way, but I'm happy I realized all of this now and not harbor a growing cancer.

with all that being said, I can go fuck around now.

Awesome Timeless Music Is Awesome

2010-04-04T12:59:00.000-07:00

Three legends playing a timeless piece of music.

Beautiful.

Johnny Boy

2010-04-04T12:47:00.000-07:00

They told me to get a life

to get a job...

to get a scholarship...

I got the job, it eats up all the time I have. I got a partial scholarship, but it's not enough.

Don't tell me there's another job of better pay & I should go about here & there looking for higher pay. People may not even hire me. So I settle for a Thai food restaurant.

Doesn't really feel like a life;

it's still better than the life before this.

Being tired is better than being bored.

I've never thought of work to be like that:

Almost all my colleagues are foreigners; Nepalese, Bangladeshi, Pakistani.

I understand now the lack of local workers.

I have no chick co-workers. What the fuck is up with that?

I can't believe how dumb I was to take up the job.

Nobody in my workplaces curses. Nobody. I'm the only one there going "Cibai pukima" or "Fuck fuck fuck."

I do feel satisfied at the end of the day in some weird sense.

Now it's all half day, no more tiring full day affairs. Need some breathing space, need a life.

Need futsal dammit. One whole month without it & all the times I have to reject those calls to go play cause of work.

Used to be able to download movies & watch them all. Now I barely even watched How I Met Your Mother.

This half day deal is much better. I get to not be so bored & still retain some free time.

Now my mom calls me Johnny Boy, cause of the weird green vest which is my uniform. Thank goodness she hasn't seen the bow-tie. And now I keep smelling like that place, which is bad. Walking around smelling like steamboat is b.a.d.

Looks good? I get sick of seeing this.

Quitting sounds good, but there's always a little greed. I want more money! I could use some extra cash aside the PC. Virtual life is no life.

And after working there, seriously, I do not want to eat there. Just take a nice look at the cutlery. And all the little roaches running about under your tables. If all restaurants are like that, then I just don't want to know.

Because I Got High: One

2010-03-26T12:31:00.000-07:00

I have only one;

one to indulge.

Just one.

Gotta make the most out of it.

Cause We Believe

2010-03-24T09:36:00.000-07:00

Still the best, period.

Inspirational tune

Cause we believe in each other;
We believe in one another,

And I know we're gonna uncover
what's sleeping in our souls.

Who wants to be alone if we could feel alive instead?

Because I Got High: Dreams

2010-03-22T01:21:00.000-07:00

It knocked me off my socks, knocked me off my senses.

A little struggle in the start, can't keep it in. Chokes, coughs. This shit burns.

A minute or two passes, the world starts seeming distant - seeming meaningless. All reasoning becomes vague. My world splits in two - one half reality where the voice of my conscience tries to keep me intact with the happenings around me - one half floats from my mind & sucks me into an alternate dimension, where there is no difference between dreaming & reality.

My eyes are bloodshot.

I stumbled into the shower, & it just struck me. Everything that happened a few seconds ago, seemed to have happened years ago. The world spins, I keep spinning. My imagination runs ablaze, flurries of random thoughts so vivid invade my vision. Any voice or sound from outside is an echo from a distant dimension, it doesn't seem real.

The toilet is the only existent world, like a room in a dream. The water from the shower sounds so clearly like a waterfall. My thoughts continue to go wild, I'm still spinning.

sheeeeeaaaattt.... i'm flyyyiiing

My whole body is blazing, radiating with intense heat. Exiting the shower is like exiting a dream & the clusters of dreams along with it disappear. Phasing into another dream world, my room. My intuition tells me something lurks in that dream, a demon. Turning on the lights, the demon being my brother, spooks me.

I can't remember what I said, I know I was somewhat muttering gibberish.

For the rest of the night, I flew. I feel like I'm walking underwater. Every body part feels so slow, yet so relaxed. No worries, no doubts. Just happy for no reason. Feel like laughing all the time, just smiling, floating.

Every other person becomes non-existent. It's just the sounds that come out of nowhere when they speak. I start to hear things, a drum roll from a marching band, an alarm, a cat purring. It's like every caged imagining explodes from my mind into the world I'm in, & they become all that I feel.

Here Comes The Sun

2010-03-18T03:04:00.000-07:00

Blog has been bout...

Movies, football & shit...

Now its bout time I talk bout something more life-related, like all you 'normal' people out there.

Maybe complain bout a thing or two, praise God for going through monthly exam or ranting about how boring life is or some forgettable party you just attended. Seems normal these days. Gee, I sound old...

Anyway, just started working. Steamboat sounds fun. There are no moments in those departmental stores or boutiques where the workers just stand there. Just idle.

No, it's running about; carrying a tray of 12 tall glasses of drinks, making sure customers get what they want constantly, attending to a customer that wants an extra coke, a customer that wants his table cleared & a customers that wants his bill - all at the same time.

And its not like we don't help each other out, everyone is as occupied. Then the difference between a steamboat table & ala carte setting, doing it constantly. Suddenly a customer of 6 sits at an ala carte table setting & demands steamboat. Then there's washing/drying the pots & cutlery & all that jibber jabber.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not calling myself a victim of any sort. Good pay requires good tough work.

But for all you fags out there thinking life has slapped you & you are a victim of your job/school; such is what I have to say to you. If you've had it easy, cherish your blessings & show appreciation by taking care of the blessing.

Okay, that wasn't a very sunshiny thing to talk about.

After all this confusion, I have finally found the sun. The past is done & I'm having none of that anymore.

Now as for the whole SPM results affair. God forbid I ever be afraid of it, cause I have bigger things to worry bout. Like the PLKN medical letter. I just sent it in. Hopefully they'll accept the request.

7A's, 6A's, 5A's - heck, even 2A's. What the hell difference does it make? Any of those stated results still won't get me a scholarship. So there wasn't any sleepless nights or no appetite whatsoever. The future is already determined & I'm sticking to that.

So arrives the results day, March 11th 2010. People were all gathered anxiously waiting. I just arrived & Chu goes all "Congratulations! Straight A's! Go take your results at the office". My brain goes "What the fuck, don't go sucking my dick on all this". Obviously I was dreaming, hallucinating or heard wrongly.

No, I screwed up Bio. No, I missed almost all the weekly assemblies & the fence was my main entrance in school. No, I slept so much in class I put Sleeping Beauty to shame. No,

But yes, there it was. Not as good as the other straight A's felles, but still - ta da!

Now my dad is all over the scholarship thing. Applying here, apply there. "Your future is bright now. This shows the capacity of your mind." plus all the other encouraging stuff.

I'm obviously not straight A's material. Maybe the marker liked my I.C. No. or something like that. Maybe he/she won the lottery using my nombor giliran.

But that's that.

Nothing more to say.

Movie: Up In The Air (2009)

2010-03-07T18:49:00.000-08:00

A typical George Clooney role.

What else can I say. His character is of course tailor made perfect for him. Suave, experienced, witty & stylish without being too chic. I'm not saying that's the only kind of role he plays, but after films like Michael Clayton & the Ocean's series, he is undoubtedly suited for such a character.The supporting cast also did their part really well. The likes of Jason Bateman(Arrested Development), Anna Kendrick(Twilight) & Vera Farmiga made this film all the more watchable.

I like that this isn't a flick just for the sake of being a flick to bring in green. As a matter of fact I really like the message behind it & how it relates to how a lot of people feel in this economic climate. It's basically about corporate downsizing, where bosses that don't have the balls to fire their own employees hire someone else from a corporate downsizing or a career transition company to do it for them.

Clooney's character, Ryan Bingham, works for such a company, where he travels all over the country in about 250+ days a year to professionally fire people. As a sideline career he does motivational speeches that speaks against the life of commitment.

He loves his life on the road(air) all the time, until his boss Craig Gregory(Bateman) decides to bring in a new employee who proposes to change the system the company runs on. Anna Kendrick plays Natalie Kenner who is an arrogant & overachieving rookie who is brought on the road by Ryan to be shown the ropes & the real nature of the job as an opposition to the new firing system she proposes.

On the road Ryan meets Alex Goran(Farmiga) who soon becomes his love interest. Throughout the course of the film Ryan soon learns that his life of anti-commitment takes an emotional downturn & the grass isn't as green as it always was.

I like the fact that such a movie with quite a depressing underlying message that many who are living life unemployed can relate to has a bright lighthearted touch to it. The script is laced with witty humor that is simple to enjoy & the chemistry between the characters is a joy to watch.

Clooney was top-class as usual & the Oscar-worthy performance by Kendrick was quite surprising. The only other time I saw her was as an unimportant supporting role in a less-than-mediocre Twilight film.

Like:
- Witty script
- Underlying message
- Top-notch acting

Dislike:
- The ending
________________________

Verdict: 8.3/10
________________________

Cinema Enigma

2010-03-03T20:33:00.000-08:00

Something still keeps me wondering.

TGV, possibly even GSC in Ipoh, is the dumbest fucking pair of cinemas I've known.

I have a little list of all the movies I have awaited to watch, possibly in the cinema. With the liberty to wait & download these flicks, I still choose to want to watch them in the cinema cause I guess it would be worth my money to have it on a large screen.

Here's a little list*:
- Valentine's Day
- Remember Me
- Youth In Revolt
- 9
- Daybreakers
- Iron Man 2
- Despicable Me
- The Yellow Handkerchief
- The Crazies
- The Losers
- Ghost Writer

*Anticipation is based on trailer viewing/star power

Help me out here

Now this puzzles me. If you were a cinema, you would want more people to come so that there's more business = more cash. But no, another cinema/another branch has to have the movies but not the Ipoh branch. Riddle me this, why don't you have even half of those fucking movies?

This leaves me yearning to be in Cineleisure Damansara catching those flicks right now. What happened to 500 Days of Summer? What happened to The Hangover? What happened to Sherlock Holmes? There may be some very complex & intricate reasoning to why they don't have the film rolls. Some divine reason that stretches beyond what my feeble mind can comprehend.

So, if anyone knows why, please enlighten me.

All your special price tickets for special days & shit won't appeal if you only continue to show Hindi/Malay/Chinese shows all the time.

And it'll be a little better if you stop showing stuff like From Paris With Love or Universal Soldier. If you're not smart at least don't show people you're stupid.

C'mon seriously, tell me so that I can shut up about all this mindless rambling.

Movie: 25th Hour (2002)

2010-03-03T18:47:00.000-08:00

I'm not especially familiar with Edward Norton (The Incredible Hulk) but I can see he has a strong screen presence.

Thus when I discovered one of Spike Lee's early movie marvels with an under the radar star like Norton, I thought I should give it a try. With supporting actors such as Philip Seymour Hoffman (Doubt), Brian Cox (William Stryker, anyone?) & Rosario Dawson (Seven Pounds), it's hard to go wrong. The relatively unknown yet impressive Barry Pepper also adds to the cast.

25th Hour is solely about Norton's character, Montgomery(Monty) Brogan, a harmless guy who has been in the drug dealing mix for 10 years, finally getting caught red-handed & facing 7 years behind bars. In the movie his character battles emotionally with every past decision he has made & faces them in the 24 hours left before he gets sentenced to imprisonment.

Monty & Doyle(the dog)

From Left: Barry Pepper, Edward Norton, Philip S. Hoffman

Strong 'Fuck You' scene

In his struggle his close childhood friends Jacob (Hoffman) who's a teacher attracted to one of his students & Frank (Pepper) who's a pessimistic stoke broker in Wall Street, help him face reality. Along the way he faces his father (Cox) who blames himself for Monty's downfall & his girlfriend Naturelle (Dawson) who's suspected of selling him out to the cops.

Spike Lee definitely took this material & crafted it very well, with its messages being delivered effectively & being an emotionally affecting piece of work.

He inserts a brilliant 'Fuck You' scene where Monty curses every single thing possible to curse in New York. And while some may think it's overboard, I think it hit spot-on in drawing the audience's attention to the seriousness of the movie. Even the 9/11 incident was addressed.

Liked:
- Brilliant ensemble of actors
- Strong embedded message

Disliked:
- Some draggy scenes
- Too much emphasis on side characters
_____________________________

Verdict: 8.5/10
_____________________________

Stoke City 1 - 3 Arsenal

2010-02-28T03:22:00.000-08:00

The race for the Premiership title has just gotten a little more exciting.

Chelsea just had the near impossible happen to them. In Stamford Bridge, where it's extremely difficult for any team (including United) to secure even a point, they have been trampled by a struggling Manchester City side (who had just lost to Stoke) by a staggering score of 2 - 4, plus having Belletti & Ballack sent off.

The title race has just been ripped wide open.
And with difficult fixtures to be faced by United & Chelsea, Arsenal being the dark horse of the race, actually have hope of winning the title.
Thus, a game away to Stoke City cannot afford any dumb slip-ups from Arsene's side, at least not again. The impressive yet frustrating thing is: Arsenal is the only team among the top four to not have a competent world-class striker. United has Rooney, Liverpool has Torres, Chelsea has Drogba, and hell even City has Teves.

Anyway, the game was slow, first half & second. There is nothing much to say about it aside the fact that it was tense (in my perspective at least). It was so hard for Arsenal to get a clear threatening chance in front of goal.

The atmosphere game was basically bogged down by Aaron Ramsey's injury. It was so bad that they didn't even want to show the replay. Dammit, I wanna see how bad it was. But the extent of the injury was written on the faces of Fabregas & Vermaelen. I thought they were about to cry.

Career-threatening injury. I think it happened once to this Leeds player Michael Bridges a looooong time ago. It so-to-speak ended his career.

But it was sad.
Stoke scored early in the game to add early pressure to the Gunners. Arsenal took time but finally snatched a goal late in the first half to draw level. A brilliant cross was floated in diagonally to be finished with a immense header by Bendtner in spite of having three players surrounding him.

If there was a player who had sparked life into Arsenal's game, it was Eboue. He was quick with the ball & often aided well in their attacking flow. He even had a powerful shot at goal which was turned away by the keeper. Fabregas was emphatic by commanding & pioneering a solid squad throughout the match.

The breakthrough came late in the game when Fabregas stepped up to finish a coolly taken penalty. Sorensen had a slight touch but it made no difference. That came shortly after Eduardo had a clear chance in front of goal but pressure from the defense & keeper plus a tight angle had the ball steer slightly wide at the near-post.

In injury time, Rosicky cut in from the left to power a low shot which was weakly saved by Sorensen. Fabregas pounced at the rebound to tee up Vermaelen who only had to tap the ball into an open goal.

Top-scoring defender

It sealed the game and also added to Vermaelen's goal tally, making him the leading scoring defender in the Premiership. The Gunners close the gap to 3 points away from league leaders Chelsea.

Arsenal 1 - 0 Liverpool

2010-02-11T00:59:00.000-08:00

Turned on the TV, looked at the line-up.

Yes, no Fernando Torres!

Instead it was this Maxi guy and of course Ngog, who couldn't do much of anything really. We didn't need another world-class striker coming to ruin Arsenal like Drogba and Rooney did. And everyone knows among the top four, Arsenal is the only team without a top-class out and out striker.

You couldn't count even the injured van Persie to be one.

Anyway, I have to say again Arsenal weren't on cutting edge top form but they did decently well to hold their own against a determined yet uninspiring Liverpool side. They played like how they did against United & Chelsea, but with more caution & patience.

The first half started real boring & slow, though there was an evident tension between both sides to break out into full-force attack. Arsenal played slower than usual, keeping the ball mostly in their own defensive half & launching the occasional attack.

Both sides desperately wanted more to not lose than to win at that point. Arsenal needed to salvage themselves after being trampled by United & Chelsea. Liverpool wanted to extend their unbeaten run to eight games.

The Gunners didn't seem to have a team of full fitness. The demoralizing fixtures against the Blues & Devils left them tending to some wounds & the level of physical capability in the team seemed diminished. They couldn't afford to burn out their stamina in the first half.

The second half saw both teams breaking loose and lashing at each other. It seemed quite equally fought at both ends of the pitch. Early in the second 45' Arshavin drilled a shot to the side netting followed up by Lukas watching his shot sail just wide above Almunia's crossbar.

The flurry of attempts on goal continued but both teams didn't have the top quality in attack. Bendtner was rubbish as a central striker. The same could be said for Ngog as Liverpool's center man.

The breakthrough came when the surrounded Bendtner fed the ball down the right flank to Rosicky who floated a nice cross to the center of the box which Diaby made full use of to nod a strong headed ball home.

Arsenal's performance in midfield solid enough to provide the strikeforce enough support to fire away. Arshavin had flare running at defenders throughout the match but Theo Walcott still failed to impress in spite of his pace. Song was decent & Diaby was class. Fabregas inspired a good attack & kept the midfield in check. Rosicky was also inspiring.

This time, the defensive line was better. Gallas could at least keep his temperament in check & blocked off a clear-cut scoring chance by Ngog with an brilliantly timed & executed tackle in the box. Vermaelen was as usual marvelous & Clichy did really well in both making incisive attacking runs & defensive interceptions.

But one thing that still keeps me begging as a supporter is the lack of fluid tippy-tappy swift passing movement that used to be their trademark. There were still many mispasses which were very uncharacteristic by Arsenal.

The other top four results just makes the day even brighter with Chelsea beaten in Goodison Park with to comeback goals by Louis Saha & United being held to a 1 - 1 draw by Aston Villa.

Movie: An Education (2009)

2010-02-09T23:42:00.000-08:00

This film is a charmer.

I had no idea I'd stumble upon something delightful to watch.

It's a fresh thing to deviate from the stereotypical rom-com or CGI bloated flicks & watch a material essentially good.

While shows like Avatar are grabbing the attention of mainstream audiences, I chose to reside in a movie more subtle & focus more on the screenplay rather than blindingly beautiful special effects which people really need to take a breather from.

I'd like to think of this as an indie film due to the fact that it's not by Paramount or New Line Cinema or anything like that. It's by BBC which makes it technically mainstream.

Anyway, the film by itself is brilliant. It's not an epic mind-blower or relentless tear-jerker but ensemble of actors make this a very sincere & warm experience.

Carey Mulligan plays Jenny, an intelligent & sophisticated naive schoolgirl with Oxford aspirations who is charmed by Peter Sarsgaard's character David who leads her to learning an entirely different life & straying her from her educational dreams. Managing to charm even her overbearing dad, David exposes her to a new life (yes, even the whole virginity thing).

Mulligan - top notch acting

Set in 1961 in some place in London, the premise & plot is really simple. But the whole cast plays all their roles out in near perfection. Carey Mulligan's performance is to me Oscar worthy & the cameos are really good. Alfred Molina as Mulligan's dad Jack alongside Emma Thompson as the school principal is really played out well. Sarsgaard also gains my respect but Mulligan was nevertheless oustanding.

The screenplay was freshly comfortable & decently good.

What I like about it:
- Carey Mulligan
- Excellent character chemistry & cast
- Good screenplay

What I don't like about it:
- Ending wasn't really solid
_______________________

Verdict: 9.2/10
_______________________

Chelsea 2 - 0 Arsenal

2010-02-08T00:35:00.001-08:00

I have nothing optimistic left to say.

You can dominate the play of the game up on the other half of the field all day long. But if you don't have a venomous strikeforce, they'll tear you apart in the counter-attack.

After a promising attitude & display of spirit in spite of the first conceded goal, I could just smell a little comeback, which in the end finishes in bitter disappointment.

The first goal was ,unlike Chelsea, a product of poor defensive organization. They let Terry drift away to get a free header which set up Drogba at the far post to kick Arsenal in the balls. And of course, his finishing could have been prevented if Alex Song wasn't dreaming & properly marked his man.

The second goal proved Ancelotti right. 'The best way to beat Arsenal is counter-attack'. And they did with when Drogba capitalized on the lack of communication between Vermaelen & Clichy - smacking hard the ball past Almunia.

And Arshavin as central striker? What the hell...

if Arsenal did have the potency to make the most out of their chances against the Blues, like against Man Utd, they would have changed the course of the game. Instead, Chelsea held their defensive discipline & punished Arsenal.

There were some exceptional players in the Gunners. Diaby was definitely a better option than Denilson. He prevented so many Chelsea counter-attack breakthroughs & held the midfield really well - helping the Gunners dominate possession of the ball.

Vermaelen was outstanding as a defender. His consistency in rock solid defending was world-class & patched up so many mistakes made by his teammates.

The other players were good - in holding the ball & passing it around, nothing more. You can't depend solely on Arshavin for the attacking edge they need.

2010-02-07T03:50:00.000-08:00

Arsenal, please la....

Please...

Don't lose k? Damn malu wan wei...
_________________________

You want the fucking title or not?
______________________________

Movie: All The Boys Love Mandy Lane (2009)

2010-02-06T22:05:00.000-08:00

Horror in Hollywood has gone down these years. Even with the added special effects plus all the gore, scary films (especially all the slasher ones) have fallen short in comparison to the likes of Scream(1996) or Psycho(1960) & even the most recent Paranormal Activity promises with suspense & creepy setting delivers nothing - failing to match up to the benchmark Blair Witch Project(1999).

Nowadays slashers go nowhere. I don't even need to watch shows like Prom Night or Sorority Row to know that they suck. They should name the genre 'slasher' & not 'horror'.

With that in mind, it's hard not to underestimate a this flick. Most people who have been exposed to the idea that slashers are 'horror' & watched a couple of them, it is only natural predict that this will be an underwhelming experience.

But if you had your hopes up high, prepare to be disappointed.

I won't say it's a bad flick. In fact the screenplay & everything is kinda okay. It's enough to keep me in my seat anticipating what happens next. The acting ain't all that bad & the twist is kinda cool.

The only reason I could enjoy this film

But for those who wanna watch sick kills & all the extreme gore fest, go watch Kill Bill or Hostel, cause this movie doesn't fit that description.

There were some scenes that were gripping & original but in the end it's still a slasher, not so typical but still a slasher. Other than Amber Heard's hotness playing the ultra-composed Mandy Lane, I couldn't really find too much to like in this movie.

What I like about it:
- Amber Heard
- Plot twist
- Appealing horror ambience

What I don't like about it:
- Mediocre kills
- Underwhelming
- Aimed for teen audiences (again)
____________________________

Verdict: 6.9/10
____________________________

Arsenal 1 - 3 Manchester Utd.

2010-02-01T02:03:00.000-08:00

This to me is...

...a deserved lost, I will not defend Arsenal on this.

__________________________________

You want the title, you gotta play like you deserve it. In this case, it seems even Leeds Utd. would've trampled all over the Gunners.

A good spark for a start, bright & adventurous. With a decent amount of open chances, a goal or two would have at least dented United's morale. But no, with more chances being missed & a tactical switch by United, the game was brought to Arsenal, who stuttered to answer the questions.

Fabregas seemed consistent enough throughout the game, but too little to make up for the lack of flair & edge or even consistency to maintain possession. Slipping up here & there, Arsenal allowed to United push the play to their opposition's half & fortified their half with solid marking. Rosicky maintained focused & fierce throughout the first 45, but was eventually drained in the second.

Russian hitman Arshavin was bright running at United's defense, but he hadn't had his scoring boots on, seeing all his efforts sail wide. And the lack of strength from the midfield eventually wore him down. Uninspired, there was nothing he could do. Alex Song, being Arsenal's anchor player in midfield couldn't even hold the ball properly. Alongside Denilson, the usually rock solid midfield was left in shambles.

And have I even mentioned the defense? I'm no pro Premiership player, but I could definitely tell that the defense was unorganized. Gallas, volatile as he is, loses his self discipline & scrambles the ball here & there especially after trailing by one goal. Vermaelen was exceptional in defense, covering up for most of the mistakes his teammates made. Even at that, what could he alone do with the likes of Rooney & Nani running all about him?

United on the other hand were just themselves. They hadn't gone any much better in this match, but they were consistent. Aside Rooney & Nani who were monsters of players in this match, United played like they normally do, with good touch & control of the ball, passing sharp & moving swiftly - accompanied by strong physical presence. If Arsenal had been less shaky, they could've kept United from overshadowing them, because they have what it takes & even more.

They recently proved that they don't get knocked around anymore. What happened?

Every weakness was exploited through & through. Ferguson's side wasted no time. Poor zone marking left so many gaps to run at. United, playing deep with counter-attacking movement, capitalized on lack of focus from Wenger's young squad. With 4 to 5 players running back to defend a counter-attack, they hadn't kept their eyes on Rooney who just ran right past them & netted the ball comfortably.

Hate to say this, but credit to Ferguson.

And Wenger, the transfer window is almost shut. Really, come on & do something. Don't just say they're a new type of animal & end up losing. You can't thrive on an impotent strike force & leaky defense.